Smackdown TV report for 02/03/2012

Reported by Earnest I Aguilar Zevallos

The Smack is being laid Down for us tonight in Omaha Nebraska. The show begins with Teddy Long in the middle of the ring making an announcement. 

Teddy tells us that SmackDown will have a title match at the Elimination Chamber Pay Per View and it will feature current Heavyweight Champion Daniel Bryan, Mark Henry, the Big Show, Wade Barrett, Cody Rhodes, and Randy Orton. 

Teddy is interrupted by Mark Henry. Henry thinks it's unfair that he be forced to fight 5 other men in an Elimination Chamber match; he wants to be take out of the Elimination Chamber(EC) match and given a title match with Daniel Bryan, one on one, tonight. 

Teddy seems surprisingly un-intimidated by the World's Strongest Man and does take him out of the EC match, but does NOT give him a one on one title match. Henry is angry at this and grabs Teddy Long angrily. Teddy tells Mark that since he put his hands on him, he's suspended indefinitely. Henry says that since he's suspended anyway, he might as well get his money's worth out of it and grabs Teddy again. 

Sheamus (the winner of the Royal Rumble match) comes to Teddy's rescue and Brogue Kicks Mark Henry out of the ring. Teddy asks Sheamus if he has decided who he will face at WrestleMania and Sheamus tells us he's going to wait until after the Elimination Chamber PPV to make up his mind. Sheamus is interrupted by Cody Rhodes. 

Cody tells us that no one will remember that Sheamus won the Royal Rumble this year; people are going to remember that Cody lasted longer and eliminated more superstars than anyone this year. Cody claims to have done all the work for Sheamus' big win. Cody also tells us that he is going to win the EC match and go into WrestleMania as the first dual champion since the Ultimate Warrior. Teddy tells Cody that tonight, he will face Sheamus one on one, and that match is next. 

Commercial

Match #1: Cody Rhodes versus Sheamus. 

The match begins with Sheamus dominating. Sheamus knocks Rhodes down multiple times before trapping him in the ropes and pounding his chest repeatedly. Cody falls to the floor and Sheamus pursues. Cody pushes Sheamus into the steel steps and then hits him with Beautiful Disaster (springboard kick) from the security barrier. Cody rolls Sheamus in and hits him with a punch, a kick, and finally a moonsault. 

Cody goes for a cover and gets a two count. Cody lands a kick and then ties up Sheamus' arm and neck. Sheamus powers his way to his feet and frees himself by backing Cody into the corner. Cody takes Sheamus down with a second rope bulldog. The two men exchange punches and Sheamus knocks Cody down with a clothesline. Sheamus charges at Cody but Cody gets his boots up into Sheamus' face. 

Sheamus plants Cody on the mat with a front slam and then climbs to the top rope. Cody cuts Sheamus off and tries to set up a superplex but Sheamus pushes him off and hits him with a flying shoulder block. Sheamus picks Cody up but Cody breaks free and tries to hit Sheamus with Beautiful Disaster. Sheamus ducks the kick and then misses Cody with a Brogue kick. Sheamus puts Cody in a Fireman's Carry and finishes him off with a Death Valley Driver. 

Commercial

Match #2: Justin Gabriel versus Hunico (with Camacho) 

Cody Rhodes is still at ringside, looking defeated. Before the match even begins, Cody runs into the ring and attacks Gabriel from behind. Cody, Hunico, and Camacho triple team Gabriel until the Great Khali comes to the rescue. Camacho gets a big chop, Hunico gets a two handed choke slam, and Cody runs away. 

Commercial

When we return, Teddy Ling is berating Drew McIntyre. Teddy tells Drew it's the same thing every week; he tells Drew he better not lose or he may get fired, and Drew loses again. Teddy says Drew has become too predictable; he always loses. 

I'm not sure if Teddy realizes he is even more predictable; he threatens to fire Drew every week, and then gives him another chance. 

This week, the other chance Teddy offers is for Drew to impress him in some "other way." Teddy doesn't specify what that "other way" may be, but it does sort of make him sound like a gay Herman Cain. 

Santino comes in to see Teddy and he seems happy. Santino has a new tag team idea: Santin-HOOO! Santino brings in Hacksaw Jim Duggan and Teddy gives them a match for the tag titles tonight. 

What better way to build up the significance of the tag titles than to give random makeshift teams consisting of a comedy act and a bloated has been that was never really that good anyway a title shot on a whim? I like Santino, but giving this silly team a title shot is a roundabout way of telling the Usos and any other tag team still hanging around that they are meaningless. 

Aksana enters Teddy's office and exclaims "what a big hard piece of wood!" as she looks down. Apparently Hacksaw left his 2 by 4 in the office. Hacksaw comes back to retrieve it and yells "HO!!" one more time. Aksana asks if he was referring to her. 

Commercial

Match #3: Santin-HO versus Epico and Primo. 

Santino and Epico start the match off and Santino twists Epico's arm before tagging in Hacksaw. Duggan hits Epico with a couple forearm shots and a trio of ugly clotheslines. Epico responds with a series of kicks before tagging in Primo. Primo lands several punches and puts Duggan in a chin lock. 

Duggan fights his way to his feet and slams Primo's face into the turnbuckle before tagging in Santino. Santino lands a punch that knocks Primo down and then puts on the Cobra. Rosa Mendes jumps up to the edge of the ring apron and blows a kiss at Santino and his cobra. Santino acts like he's not going to fall for the distraction, but he hesitates long enough for Primo to hit him with a backstabber for the win. 

After the match Hacksaw saves Santino from a double team beating from Epico and Primo. 

Commercial

When we return, Michael Cole is in the middle of the ring preparing to interview Daniel Bryan. When Bryan comes out, (screaming 'YES!' with his hands held high) Cole tells him that he always thought he was a nerd that would never make it. But after retaining the title at the Royal Rumble in a steel cage match against the Big Show, he has to admit he was wrong, and extends his hand. 

Bryan doesn't accept Cole's hand, and instead tells Cole that this isn't about him, that not everything is about Michael Cole; this is all about Daniel Bryan. Bryan is actually being more of a jerk than Michael Cole right now. 

The big difference is when Daniel Bryan acts like a jerk, I'm still entertained. When Michael Cole acts like a jerk I pine away for Taz and Mike Tenay. 

Bryan tells us that after defeating 2 monsters (the Big Show and Mark Henry) he now considers himself to be a great champion and a role model. Bryan explains that since he is a Vegan he is healthier than anyone in this building, and they should all therefore follow him and be Vegans to. There is a lot of booing, a "you suck" chant, and I think I may have even caught a "we want bacon" chant. Apparently Veganism is not big in Omaha. 

Bryan also tells us that he refuses to stand for prejudice against him. Bryan feels that the Big Show should be taken out of the EC title match. Daniel tells us that the Big Show is a failure that keeps losing against Daniel Bryan and keeps getting rewarded for it with more chances. He also believes Big Show intentionally ran over his 95 lb girlfriend AJ recently.

Bryan tells us that he will go to the WWE board of directors if Teddy Long doesn't take Big Show out of the match, and then Teddy can join John Laurinaitis on the unemployment line. 

The Big Show comes to the ring all smiles. Show tells Bryan that he's a pompous, arrogant, and very lucky, little ass. Show says that while Bryan will still be all those things after the EC match, he won't be champ anymore. Bryan promises the Big Show that even if he does lose the title at Elimination Chamber, he won't lose it to the Big Show because the Big Show is a loser. 

Bryan repeatedly pokes Big Show in the chest while calling him a loser until finally the Big Show attacks him. Show beats Bryan down, rips off his shirt and chops his chest. Show choke slams Bryan and AJ,(in a neck brace) comes out to save her boyfriend. Big Show cocks his fist to knock Bryan out but AJ grabs his arm and Bryan slides out of the ring. 

AJ looks scared but the Big Show lets her leave the ring. Outside the ring, Bryan asks AJ if she's OK and they hug. Bryan tells her she doesn't have to be afraid of him anymore because he will never let anyone hurt her again; a strange thing to say considering she just saved him while he was running away. 

In the back, Natalya and Beth Phoenix are preparing for a tag match by doing squats. Natalya farts in the middle of the routine, nearly killing an unsuspecting Santino Marella with the stench of her flatulence. Perhaps she should incorporate that move into her in-ring arsenal, it seems deadly. (But not silent) 

Commercial

Match #4: Natalya and Beth Phoenix versus Tamina and Aksana. Natalya and Aksana start things off and Natalya drops Aksana with a bodyslam. Aksana answers with a kick. Natalya plants Aksana face first on the mat and Beth tags herself in. Beth hits Aksana with the Glam Slam for the win and walks away with her Divas title. 

Natalya attacks Aksana after the match but Tamina makes the save. Tamina beats Natalya down and then hits her with a Superfly Splash. Beth doesn't come to her partner's aid because she is already long gone. Apparently the Divas of Doom are done. Beth has started really dominating lately, but Natalya keeps losing, and farting. 

Commercial

When we return we are shown a long John Cena tribute to hype his match with the Rock at WrestleMania. As most people know by now, Cena does a lot of charitable work and is one of the Make a Wish Foundations most requested entertainers. People that think Cena sucks are factually mistaken. 

He's no Kurt Angle or Eddie Guerrero, obviously, but he takes a wicked beating in a lot of his matches and is freakishly strong. I prefer technical masters like CM Punk and Daniel Bryan, but as far as powerful, muscular, charismatic guys with movie star looks go, Cena is awesome. He's got the look and the charisma to get by without trying, but he still puts his body on the line month after month and works harder than most wrestlers. So to all the Cena haters out there: let it go, you are wrong. 

Matt Striker interviews Randy Orton before his big no DQ match tonight with Wade Barrett. Randy tells us he doesn't blame Wade Barrett for throwing him down a flight of stairs. Randy tells us he would have done the same thing. Randy is angry that Wade has been saying he ended Orton's career. Orton promises to prove him wrong by beating him tonight and by beating him and 4 other superstars at the Elimination Chamber PPV. 

Match #5: Randy Orton versus Wade Barrett, no DQ. 

Before the match, Daniel Bryan and AJ approach Teddy Long. Bryan says that AJ is terrified of the Big Show. Teddy offers to let them watch the main event with him and they can talk during the match. 

Commercial

When we return, the match is underway and the two men exchange several punches. Randy gets the upper hand, landing a European uppercut, a clothesline, and a suplex. Randy throw Wade over the top rope and out onto the floor. Randy pursues and slams Wade into the steel steps and then the security barrier. Orton places Wade's head on the steel steps and stomps on it. Wade gives Barrett a belly to back suplex on the security barrier and then slides a table into the ring. 

Commercial

When we return, Orton is attempting a superplex but Barrett blocks it. Barrett headbutts Orton and then pushes him off the top rope and through the table in the middle of the ring. Barrett goes for a cover and gets only 2. Wade focuses his attack on Orton's back, delivering several kicks before whipping him hard into the corner. 

Wade exits the ring and pulls Orton's arms and legs back around the steel post, stretching his back. Barrett slams Orton into the edge of the ring and then rolls him back in. Wade chokes Orton on the top rope and then brings several knee strikes up into his face. Wade knocks Orton to the floor and then goes out after him. Orton lands a punch and then throws Barrett over the security barrier into the crowd. Orton pounds on the retreating Barrett, eventually clotheslining Barrett back over the barrier towards the ring again. 

Orton jumps off the top of the barrier and hits Barrett with a double axe handle. Wade whips Orton into the steel steps and then rolls him back into the ring. Barrett gets a steel chair and repeatedly pummels Orton with it. Barrett sets Orton up for Wasteland but Orton fights his way out of it. Orton hits Barrett with a scoop powerslam and grabs the chair. 

Orton pummels Barrett with a chair and then props the chair up in the corner. Randy whips Barrett head first into the chair and then hits him with a standing drop kick that sends him out to the floor. Randy throws Barrett over the announce table and then throws him back to the ring. Orton brings Barrett back into the ring with a rope hung DDT and gets ready to hit the RKO. 

Barrett blocks the RKO and hits Orton with a side slam. Barrett goes for a cover and gets 2. Wade gets the chair and hits Orton in the back, then sets Orton up for a pump handle slam. Orton floats out of the pump handle and hits Barrett with an RKO! Randy positions the chair on the floor and RKO's Barrett again, this time on the steel chair, and then covers him for the win. 

In the back, Teddy, Daniel Bryan, and AJ watch Orton celebrate. Teddy tells Bryan he won't have to worry about the Big Show next week, because he'll be facing that man, Randy Orton, instead. Bryan says he's not afraid of giants or snakes. 

Bryan tells AJ to stay back here where it's safe and tells her to watch. Daniel Bryan runs out to the ring holding his title high, pointing at the ceiling and screaming "YES!" repeatedly for no apparent reason. Daniel Bryan continues to celebrate wildly and Randy Orton glares at him as SD goes on air.