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Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Smackdown TV report for 12/09/2011

Reported by Ernest I Aguilar

The Smack is being laid Down for us tonight in Jacksonville Kentucky. Before the show even began, Cody Rhodes attacked Booker T from behind as Booker made his way to the announce table. Booker gets taken away, apparently to the hospital. Cody makes his way over to the announce table to take Booker's seat as the show begins.

Lillian Garcia makes her way to the ring to announce her return as the WWE's ring announcer, but is cut off by Cody Rhodes before she gets to thank the audience for welcoming her back. Cody says no one cares that she is back and no one noticed she was gone.

Cody does like the symmetry of one announcer returning (Lillian) just moments after he took another announcer (Booker T) out of commission. Cody thinks people are more interested in finding out who will replace Booker tonight at the announce table and spit the mindless 1st grade cliches that Booker always spouts, or talk about Booker's fave 5 (which consists of about 11 people) and Cody announces that he will be taking over for Booker tonight.

Cole says having Cody there is like having Gordon Solie calling the matches. I don't think Gordon Solie would have been able to call a match sitting next to Michael Cole. Solie took commentary very seriously; Cole usually seems unaware that there are matches to call because he's too preoccupied with his own bullshit.

Cole contributes nothing positive to the show: he only serves to distract people from what's happening in the ring. The sad thing is I actually think he's a reasonably talented performer; he conveys anger really well, he is very hate-able, but he is constantly taking attention away from the matches and it's damaging an otherwise entertaining show. I'll try not to mention him again this report; I've already wasted too much space on him.

Match #1: Wade Barrett versus Ezekiel Jackson in a "Beat the Clock challenge" match.

Later tonight Randy Orton will face Dolph Ziggler in a "beat the clock challenge" match. Barrett and Orton will be competing to see who can win their match faster, and whoever does gets to pick the stipulation in their match at the TLC Pay Per View in 2 weeks.

The two men lock up in the middle of the ring and Wade tries to roll Jackson up early, but Jackson gets loose and takes Barrett down instead. Both men get back to their feet and Wade gets Jackson in a headlock. Jackson escapes and hits Wade with a back elbow, beats Barrett down and unsuccessfully goes for a cover. Wade slides out to the floor to regroup.

Wade gets back up to the ring apron; Jackson shoulder blocks him and then clotheslines him, causing Barrett to fall back to the floor. Jackson pulls Wade back into the ring and then shoulder blocks him three times in the corner. Jackson gives Barrett and Irish Whip and Barrett dives into Jackson's knee, sending him crashing to the canvas. Wade rolls Jackson up but Jackson kicks out.

Wade hits Jackson with several knees to the back and goes for another cover but Jackson kicks out again. Barrett applies a chin lock to Jackson but Jackson fights his way out. Wade hits Jackson with a pump handle slam and gets another near fall.

Commercial

When we return, Wade has Jackson in a chin lock. So far 6:15 seconds have gone by in this match. Jackson frees himself by getting to his feet and backing Barrett up into the corner. Jackson lands 3 clotheslines, a few punches, and a side slam. Jackson goes for a cover but gets only 2. Jackson bodyslams Barrett twice in a row and then tries to get him up in the torture rack, but Barrett slides out. Wade lands a kick and then tries to get Jackson up on his shoulder for Wasteland (forward fireman's carry slam) but Jackson escapes.

Wade hits Jackson with a spinning side slam and covers him for the win. Time elapsed: 7 minutes and 53 seconds. Wade will get to pick the stipulation for his match with Orton at TLC unless Orton can beat Dolph Ziggler in 7:53 or less.

After the match, Barrett says he needs to get a title shot and Orton is in his way. Barrett reminds us he has beaten Orton several times already, and then claims that the only voice Randy Orton is hearing in his head now is Barrett's.

Commercial

When we return, David Otunga is asking Teddy Long to expunge his loss last week from the holiday edition of Smackdown hosted by Mick Foley. Otunga claims he was only there for a Christmas party and should not have been forced to wrestle, especially since he's a Raw wrestler, not a SmackDown wrestler. Teddy reminds David that since he works for the WWE, he's obliged to follow the rulings of whoever is in charge, whether it's on Raw or Smackdown. Teddy then puts Otunga in a match for later tonight with Sheamus.

Back in the ring, Josh Matthews introduces Daniel Bryan and asks him about his recent steel cage match for the heavyweight title against Mark Henry. Bryan admits he's hurt, but that the disappointment is more painful than the physical pain.

Daniel is about to tell us something his father used to tell him until he's interrupted by Michael Cole. Cole calls Bryan some mean names and claims Bryan never earned a title shot. Bryan reminds Cole that Bryan DID earn his title shot by making Cole's new broadcast partner Cody Rhodes tap out two weeks ago, and then threatens to make Cole tap out right now.

Bryan goes after Cole but is blindsided by Cody Rhodes. Cody beats Bryan down, attacking his injured ribs, and then walks back to the locker room.

Commercial

Match #2: Zach Ryder versus Heath Slater.

Zach gets the early advantage with punches and a double axe handle. Slater slams Ryder into the corner and then mounts and pounds him. Slater lands a few more strikes and whips Ryder into the corner. Slater charges but Ryder gets his feet up and knocks Slater down. Ryder hits Slater with the Broski Boot and then the Rough Ryder for the win.

Commercial

Match #3: Ted Dibiase versus Jinder Mahal.

Mahal beats DiBiase down at the start of the match, but DiBiase responds with a high hip toss. Mahal takes DiBiase down and then hits him with a neckbreaker. Mahal goes after Ted's neck again by pressing it down on the bottom rope. Mahal whips Ted to the ropes and then hits him with a back elbow.

Ted responds with several punches but Jinder takes him down again and hits him with a butterfly suplex. Jinder puts Ted in a cravat but Ted fights his way out. DiBiase knocks Jinder down with a clothesline, but Jinder slams Ted into the corner and hits him with a pair of high knees. Jinder looks angry, but Ted suddenly rolls him up for the win!

Just before the commercial break, there was a sign that read "Gobbledygooker" equals ratings. I hope Vince knows that sign must have been a joke.

Commercial

When we return, The Big Show makes his way to the ring to talk about his title match with Mark Henry at TLC. Big Show tells us he won the heavyweight title 9 years ago from Brock Lesnar, and he thinks it's about time he became champion again. While Big Show is talking, Mark Henry comes out to interrupt. Henry says he's not 100% right now, but will be at the PPV, and he promises to give him all he can handle.

But first Mark wants to talk to the Big Show, but he wants the Big Show to promise not to attack him. Show declines at first but then reluctantly agree. Henry tells Show they've both been champion, and he hopes they have a good match and find out who the better man is. Henry then extends his hand, and the Big Show eventually reluctantly accepts it.

Before leaving the ring, Henry hits Big Show with a cheap shot, but is then speared by the Big Show. Big Show beats on Henry inside the ring and out of it, and finally smashes Henry's back and injured leg with a steel chair.

Commercial

Match # 4: David Otunga versus Sheamus, with Hornswoggle as the guest ring announcer.

Hornswoggle was given the gift of speech by Santa last week, but oddly Santa didn't give the Leprechaun an Irish accent. Is it possible Hornswoggle isn't a real leprechaun, or did Santa just mess up?

Otunga starts the match of by getting behind Sheamus, but Sheamus escapes with an elbow, whips Otunga to the ropes and then knocks him down with a back elbow. Otunga regains the advantage and puts Sheamus in a head lock that looks like a little like a guillotine choke. Sheamus throws Otunga off and drops several knees onto his back.

Sheamus lands a punch, ties Otunga up in the ropes and then pounds his chest repeatedly. Sheamus suplexes Otunga back into the ring and then goes for a cover but gets only two. The two wrestlers exchange strikes and Otunga gets the edge and lands several blows to Sheamus in the corner.

Sheamus smiles in the face of the assault, but then his face turns angry and he pummels Otunga brutally. Sheamus hits Otunga with a clothesline, a body slam, and then finishes him off with the Brogue Kick for the win.

Commercial

Match #5: Daniel Bryan versus Cody Rhodes.

Bryan starts off fast with several punches and stiff kicks. Cody catches one of the kicks and takes Bryan down. Cody drops an elbow onto Bryan's injured ribs, and then beats on his ribs with punches and kicks. After an Irish Whip, Bryan clotheslines Cody to the mat.

Cody gets to his feet and headbutts Daniel in the gut. Cody hits Bryan with a gordbuster and goes for a cover but gets only 2. Cody whips Bryan into the corner and then stomps on him repeatedly. Cody tries a suplex from the edge of the ring apron just outside the ropes, but Bryan blocks it and lands a punch. Cody slams his shoulder into Bryan's ribs and then slams him into the steel post, knocking him to the floor.

Commercial

When we return, Cody has Bryan in an abdominal stretch. During the break, Cody dropped Bryan onto the security wall with a gordbuster. Bryan fights his way out of the abdominal stretch but is beaten down by Cody again. Bryan and Cody continue fighting near the ropes and Bryan backdrops him out to the floor. Bryan hits Cody with a suicide dive outside the ring, but Bryan is still favoring his ribs and Cody makes his way back into the ring first.

Bryan lands a series of very stiff kicks. Cody tries to slow his momentum by hitting him in the ribs again, but Bryan responds with a running drop kick. Bryan goes to the top rope and tries to hit Cody with a big splash from the top, or possibly a flying headbutt, but Cody rolls out of the way. At that moment Booker T comes running to the ring and attacks Cody. Booker ends up chasing Cody away, causing Daniel Bryan to lose the match by disqualification.

Commercial

When we return, Teddy Long is on the phone and gets interrupted by Aksana. Aksana wants Teddy to give her a show on the WWE network, so people can see her on the boob tube. Cody Rhodes storms into the office and demands a match with Booker T, and Teddy tells him he will be facing Booker at the TLC Pay per View.

In the back, Matt Striker is interviewing Randy Orton. Striker asks Orton what his thoughts are concerning his Beat the clock match for later tonight. Orton tells Striker to ask Wade Barrett what Orton is thinking, since Wade earlier claimed to be the only voice in Orton's head.

Orton tells us that Wade Barrett's time of 7:53 is good news for Dolph Ziggler, because it means he will only suffer for a short time. Normally Randy likes to stretch out the suffering, but this time he'll be quick.

Commercial

Match #6: Randy Orton versus Dolph Ziggler in a Beat the Clock challenge match: time to beat 7:53.

Randy starts off fast with a standing dropkick and a pin attempt, a suplex and a pin attempt, and then a series of strikes, a clothesline and then another pin attempt. He does seem to be in a hurry. Randy checks the clock and Dolph goes on the attack. Dolph lands several strikes and beats Orton down. Randy gets to his feet and whips Dolph to the ropes. Dolph leapfrogs Orton and then Orton clotheslines him.

Dolph grabs at Orton's leg but Orton just stomps on him. Orton whips Dolph to the ropes and Dolph hits Orton with a big European uppercut, followed by a bulldog legdrop. Dolph goes for a cover and kicks out at 2. Dolph gets Orton's back on the mat and tries to position himself for a submission hold. Orton gets to his feet and gets Dolph off his back. Dolph hits Orton with a DDT and then a couple of elbows.

Dolph goes for another cover and again gets 2. Dolph applies a chin lock, but Orton is able to get back to his feet. Dolph hits Orton with a kick and then a neckbreaker. Orton has only 3 minutes, thirty seconds to win this match. Dolph climbs to the top rope but Orton cuts him off. Orton lands a few punches and then superplexes Dolph off the top! Orton goes for a cover with only 2 ½ minutes to go but Ziggler kicks out at 2. Dolph charges Orton but Orton dodges the attack.

Orton hits Dolph with 2 clotheslines and a scoop slam. Orton goes for another cover but gets only 2. Orton hits Dolph with an inverted headlock backbreaker and gets another near fall. Just 1 minute forty seconds left and Dolph hits Orton with a running dropkick. Dolph tries to hit Orton with a Zig Zag but Orton blocks it. Orton hits Dolph with a rope hung DDT and goes for another cover, once again getting only 2. One minute, fifteen seconds to go!

Dolph runs out to the floor: Orton pursues and clotheslines him on the floor. Orton rolls Dolph back in as Vickie Guerrero climbs up to the ring apron, distracting the referee. Taking advantage of the distraction, Wade Barrett sneaks out and slams Orton into the steel ring post. Wade rolls Orton into the ring, and Orton wearily gets up to his knees.

The match is getting down to its final few seconds. Dolph charges to attack the weakened Orton, but Orton shoots up to his feet and RKOs Dolph for the win with just TWO seconds remaining!!

After the match, Wade Barrett runs into the ring and flattens Randy Orton. Wade congratulates Orton on winning the beat the clock challenge and winning the right to pick the stipulation for their match at TLC. Orton appears barely conscious, but Wade still says he wants to make a suggestion for their TLC match. Wade knocks over a ladder and throws away a chair and then eyes one of the tables. It looks like Barrett wants a tables match.

Wade tries to put Orton through the table with Wasteland, but Orton blocks it. Randy tries to suplex Wade through the table but Wade escapes and slams Orton into the edge of the ring apron and then the steel steps. Wade backs away up the ramp as Orton glares at him. Orton sees Dolph still struggling to get to his feet, and Orton powerbombs him through the table as the show comes to a close.

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