Monday Night Raw TV report for 04/09/2012

Reported by Ernest I Aguilar Zevallos

Subsequent to last week's AWESOME Raw, what is on the cards tonight from the United States' capital city? I can tell you this, we are on the brink of a new uprising in stars and storylines. 

What will General Manager John Laurinaitis have in store for his stars? Who will be Lord Tensai's next opponent? How will WWE Champion C.M. Punk retaliate from getting hit with an alcoholic bottle by his nemesis Chris Jericho? Do we know why Brock Lesnar made his HUGE return last week and chose John Cena as his first victim? Plus, the THREE STOOGES!!!

Only one way to find out the answers to all the above inquiries, and that is to read on...

Monday Night Raw for April 9th, 2012 - "Legitimacy"

Introduction Segment: Preview & Welcoming

Michael Cole & Jerry "The King" Lawler hype up tonight's show following the usual pyro blast, with a promo for the Three Stooges, and a rematch booked - WWE Champion C.M. Punk will defend against Mark Henry.

Segment #1: Arena Promo

General Manager and Vice-President Of Talent Relations John Laurinaitis is out with his protege' David Otunga. He wants to introduce a man who made a HUGE impact last week. But first, a video package. The highlights are of Brock Lesnar returning and taking out John Cena with an F5.

"Please welcome, the new face of the WWE, and the man who will face John Cena at 'Extreme Rules' and bring legitimacy back to the WWE - Brock Lesnar," announces Laurinaitis. (DAMN, they're rushing this feud already!) Cole totes Lesnar's career accomplishments, including mentioning the words "NCAA" and "UFC." (Whatcha think, mistake or actually allowed?)

Brock wastes no time in trying to establish himself as a heel by thanking Mr. Laurinaitis for bringing "legitimacy back to the WWE." Before he can go on, his opponent for the next pay-per-view walks out. John Cena makes his way and stands in the corner opposite the other three. (For those keeping score at home, crowd is primarily booing Cena with a few cheers.)

Cena says nothing but just slaps Lesnar in the face. "The Next Big Thing" responds with a legsweep and mount-punching. The two brawl until referees, agents, superstars, and everyone else in the building it seems, comes out to try and separate them. Cena is shown with a bloody mouth (to which loud "Thank you Brock" chants are heard.)

Commercials.

Segment #2: Backstage Promo

Laurinaitis is berating Teddy Long for not containing John Cena. He orders the former Smackdown General Manager to find out why Cena went ballistic on Lesnar. Eve walks in and wants a word with the boss, but Laurinaitis denies her, citing chaos right now. (No kidding, a girl who does not know timing!)

Match #1: Tag-Team - "The Funk-a-saurus" Brodus Clay & WWE United States Champion Santino Marella (with the "Funkettes", Naomi & Cameron) VS. "The All-American-American" Jack Swagger and "The Show-Off" Dolph Ziggler (with Vickie Guerrero)

Marella and Ziggler begin the bout with Santino trying to take Ziggler down by one leg, but Dolph countered into a pinning combo for a 1. Marella counters a running attempt with an armdrag into an armbar but Dolph & Marella soon trade tags. Clay is now in and takes complete control over Jack. He attempts a T-Bone Suplex, but Swagger gets out of it and grounds Brodus with a running chop block to the left knee and a shoulder block.

Ads.

Back live, it is the original two, with Dolph dominating over Marella. Ziggler quickly tags Swagger, who comes in and clamps on an armbar submission. Jack picks up Santino off a running attempt and slams him down with an amateur wrestling move. 

Swagger switches again with Dolph, who tries a move, but gets rolled up by Marella, but only for 2! Ziggler grips a side head lock on Marella now, which the U.S. Champ battles out of with a flip. He tags in "The Funk-a-saurus" who steamrolls over "The Show-Off," finishing with a Big Splash! 1 - 2 - 3!

Winners via Pinfall: "The Funk-a-saurus" Brodus Clay & WWE United States Champion Santino Marella (with the "Funkettes", Naomi & Cameron)

Post-match, the winners all dance in the ring to the crowd's delight.

Segment #3: Backstage Promo

Laurinaitis is now with The Miz, who tells him that he will talk next week about the big plans he has for the former WWE Champion. Long walks in again, this time with Cena in tow. John calls John up on his "legitimacy" saying that he still has it and still wants it. He looks forward to taking care of business at Extreme Rules. 

Even more, Cena wants to compete tonight against whoever Laurinaitis picks. Cena walks away and the General Manager orders Long to inform David Otunga that Cena will be facing him, and Big Johnny will be at his side.

Segment #4: Backstage Promo

Fresh off his victory, United States Champion Santino Marella is searching for the Three Stooges.

Commercials.

Segment #5: Backstage Promo

See above, Santino still looking, but walks into run who is no stooge. Kane just stares him down until Marella runs away as only he can!

Match #2: Single - R-Truth VS. Cody Rhodes

Side head lock and shoot-off into the ropes by Cody but Truth comes back with a shoulder block and clothesline. Rhodes counters with a drop-down uppercut and Alabama Slam. "Well, it's the Big Show!" The Intercontinental Champion interrupts Cody's match to replay what happened last week, "Cody's Wrestlemania Moments" and then the loss to Kofi Kingston. This distracts the former I.C. Champion enough to let R-Truth capitalize with the "Little Jimmy" Jumping Flatliner for the duke!

Winner via Pinfall: R-Truth

Segment #6: Backstage Promo

Marella is still looking but this time comes upon a huge crate labeled "Fragile." Santino mistakes this word for Italian and opens it. Out pops the Three Stooges themselves. They go through their usual stick while coming up with ideas on how to entertain the WWE Universe.

Ads.

Match #3: Single - Lord Tensai (with "Deshi") VS. Yoshi Tatsu

(SQUASH!) Tensai immediately grabs Yoshi's left arm and hits him with chops-to-the-head. Headbutts in the corner and a double-underhook suplex. Tensai measures Tatsu and runs at him with a splash in the corner and repeated elbows to the head. One double-handed sit-down chokeslam and a Charles Robinson referee decision, Lord Tensai takes this one too.

Winner via Referee Stoppage: Lord Tensai (with "Deshi")

Post-match, Tensai performs the same ritual of spitting on his hand and then clamping Yoshi's head with the claw.

Up next, the WWE Championship!

Commercials.

Segment #7: Arena Promo

WWE Champion C.M. Punk comes out first and breaks his silence. He talks about his way of life with "Straightedge," but will not reveal why. He doesn't think it is anybody's business, but at the same time, will not make any excuses. He told himself that if and when he made it to the top of the WWE, it is because he is the "best in the world!" (He holds his WWE Championship high and calls of "C.M. Punk" ring out in the arena.) 

Punk was happy until Chris Jericho came along. Jericho tried to claim he is "the best in the world," and when that didn't work, Punk says he went on a personal crusade against his family to get under his skin. That did not do anything though, since at WrestleMania, "I made Chris Jericho tap out!" exclaims Punk. The WWE Champion tells us that Jericho took it too far by smashing a bottle of Whiskey over his head, causing him to smell exactly like his father did.

Punk recalls the memories that came back from his childhood and his dad's alcoholism, until Jericho interrupts via Titantron. "Y2J" accuses Punk of being "hung-over" and "tipsy." Jericho informs Punk he has to admit that he is powerless to alcohol. Jericho says he sees it, as well as the fans. They don't see a World Champion or the best in the world, but a "pathetic, living, breathing loser!" 

Jericho forced C.M. Punk to be "C.M. Drunk" for the very first time after last week's incident. Punk is on his knees in the ring, but rises up and tells Jericho that he only broke a bottle, not him. C.M. informs Jericho that he awakened something inside of him, and he made the biggest mistake of his life. Punk is going to use all the emotions inside of him against Jericho, because "this is no longer about me being the 'best in the world.' This is about me kicking your ass!"

Match #4: Single for the WWE Championship - C.M. Punk (Champion) VS. Mark Henry (Challenger)

Mark Henry makes his entrance prior to the break.

Ads.

Back live, it's on! Punk runs right at Henry with right hands, kicks, and a clothesline. None of those take out the "World's Strongest Man" but a huge return clothesline knocks Punk out of the ring. Henry follows to the outside but gets a beat down with a television monitor, courtesy of Punk. Referee Mike Chioda calls for the bell.

Winner via Disqualification: "The World's Strongest Man" Mark Henry (C.M Punk keeps his WWE Championship due to the DQ)

Post-match, Punk is going to continue the assault until Jericho's music and video play. He walks out on stage with two cases of brew. Punk gets unfocused, giving Henry the chance to drive him to the mat with two World Strongest Slams. Jericho looks on and then goes to poor a brewsky on him. 

Punk quickly kicks him away but falls to a Codebreaker. "Y2J" completes the insult by bathing the WWE Champion in beer, while yelling obscenities at him. Referees come in and convince him to stop. Punk crawls to the ropes to get himself up, but walks right into another Codebreaker. Jericho walks over and snatches the WWE Title, holding it up high. He tosses it in the ring and then leaves, as an up-close on a knocked-out Punk is shown.

Commercials.

Match #5: Single - "Long Island Iced-Z" Zack Ryder VS. Alberto Del Rio

Del Rio is all over Zack quickly. Drop kick to Ryder's skull for a two-count. "The Mexican Aristocrat" corners Zack and pounds away on him. Ryder gets his knees up on a run attempt and lands the Broski Kick. He jumps up for the RoughRyder but Del Rio tosses him into the turnbuckle and quickly clamps on the Cross Armbreaker for the tap-out victory.

Winner via Submission: Alberto Del Rio

Del Rio celebrates by wiping his nose with one of Ryder's purple wristbands (nice heel/snob touch!)

Segment #8: Backstage Promo

The Three Stooges came up with their idea and are on their way out!

Ads.

Segment #9: Arena Promo

Two of the Three Stooges (Moe & Larry) run their way out. They wonder where their partner is and they say he is getting changed. The familiar music of Hulk Hogan blares the speakers, but it is not him. 

Will "Curly" Sasso is dressed as him, complete with tan, and while he does a pretty great impersonation of the "Hulkster," this segment failed in crowd response and reaction, until Kane comes out and chokeslams Will "Curly/Hulk Hogan" Sasso. Larry & Moe high-tailed it to the back. (Pointless!)

Segment #10: Backstage Promo

Josh Matthews is with Mark Henry and asks him for an explanation on his assault to WWE Champion C.M. Punk. After replays of the incident, Henry claims that because the last two weeks were won by count-out and disqualification respectfully, next week the WWE Championship will be on the line again in a no-disqualification match, which Mark says will make him a "World Heavyweight Champion." (in one way, wrong title bub!)

Commercials.

Segment #11: Backstage Promo

Josh Matthews is now with Brock Lesnar and asks him if he is proud to be back in WWE. Brock says he is proud of everything, for it is because of him that BOTH the WWE and UFC have succeeded on his own blood, sweat, and tears. 

"John Cena, he thinks he's at the top. He could never hold my jockstrap in a million years. And I just proved this. I knocked his pretty little mouth on his pretty little face. // I'm a war machine. An ass-kicker, and a proud one at that."

Segment #12: WrestleMania XXVIII Promo

A montage detailing the "End Of An Era" Hell In The Cell match between Triple H and The Undertaker with Shawn Michaels as the guest referee is aired. Video footage, mixed with frozen pictures, and perspective comments from WWE Superstars (John Cena, Randy Orton, Cody Rhodes, WWE Champion C.M. Punk, William Regal, The Miz, Intercontinental Champion Big Show, Daniel Bryan, and Mark Henry). Writer's Note: Again, fantastic match and memorable moment at the end. Should stay that way!

Match #6: Single - David Otunga (with General Manager & Vice-President Of Talent Relations Mr. John Laurinaitis) VS. John Cena

Otunga and Laurinaitis make their entrance prior to the break.

Ads.

John Cena comes out next, to a bit more of a split reaction. He tells the camera "I got a little scuffed up but I'm still here!" (Note: "Let's go Cena/Cena Sucks" chants fill the fans). Lock up and waist lock by Cena but Otunga reverses into a wrist lock, which is countered by Cena with a takedown. 

Another lock up and side head lock this time from David. Cena tries to gain a quick advantage but misses a splash in the corner. Otunga takes control with punches and a springboard elbow drop. 3-Point-Stance clothesline from Otunga who then poses and punches down Cena. Big running shoulder-block from Otunga for a near fall! Another side head lock wears down Cena and then Otunga poses again.

This gives an opening for Cena to make a come back with his usual moves of punches, shoulder tackles, the spin-out back drop, and a 5-Knuckle Shuffle. An Attitude Adjustment and STF makes Otunga give in and Cena receives the victory!

Winner via Submission: John Cena

Post-match, Brock Lesnar comes in and kicks John Cena right in his "fruity pebbles." (okay, I know that's bad, but couldn't resist - I knew that expression would be a double-entendre someday!) Lesnar laughs at him and then drives him into the canvas with another F5! He smiles over a prone Cena, as does Laurinaitis clapping at ringside. The crowd chants "one more time!" Lesnar retreats to the stage and stares down the fallen Cena to close the show.

End Of Raw.

Reporter's Ramblings - By Moe Tapp

Another great edition of Raw, but this time a few nitpickings, so I go back to my usual format.

Excellence: Opener with Brock & Cena. Great, great realistic physical punch-up between the two grapplers. Legitimized the feud right then & there. 

Jack Swagger & Dolph Ziggler as a tag-team. They really do have great chemistry, so they should be on the "W" side more, perhaps even pursuing the Tag-Team Championship. 

Even though you know he's going to win, I still like the fact they are giving Lord Tensai time to show off some of his moves, instead of just flat, 30-second squashes. Puts him over just a bit more, and the "referee stoppage" decisions are a nicer touch. 

Punk/Jericho/Mark Henry - all three of their interactions/match/promos - watch to see and learn, enough said! 

Glad to see Alberto Del Rio back on the winning side! Brock's promo, nicely done and very cocky. Seemed actually genuine too! 

"End Of An Era" recap. Another great way to hammer home that EXCELLENT match and put over truly one of the greatest moments in Wrestlemania/WWE history. As said last week, now keep Triple H, Shawn Michaels, & The Undertaker off T.V. for a LONG LONG while, or at the very least, they should NEVER interact together again - W.M. XXVIII was truly the "end of their era." Lesnar standing tall again at the end.

Bogus: Lesnar/Cena match at Extreme Rules - too quick. Could've easily dragged this out! Hopefully, it ends in controversy to pro-long the feud, as that would be the saving grace. 

Santino/Clay as a tag-team...better individually, especially when one is the U.S. Champion and should be DEFENDING that belt! 

Swagger/Ziggler LOSING! Should not happen, as stated above, they actually are a great tag-team, and thereby should be higher up on the rankings/card. 

Cody Rhodes losing due to Big Show's distractions - this will just get old fast and diminish Cody. 

Zack Ryder losing - hot star a couple months ago, now the flame is going out? Three Stooges - stupid and pointless - failed miserably!

All in all though, still another effort commended and they are on a roll. See if they can keep it up next week! Until then, Be Excellent Wrestling-Online Readers & Wrestling Fans!