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| Reported by Ernest I Aguilar |
The Smack is being laid Down for us LIVE tonight in Wichita Kansas. The show begins with John Cena coming out to the ring to kick off Super SmackDown with a Tony Chimmel impersonation. Chimmel's voice would always crack when he announced Edge as the Rated R Superstar, with his voice cracking on the SU every time.
Cena then calls out Alberto Del Rio, and is met instead by Alberto's personal announcer, Ricardo Rodriguez. Ricardo tells Cena that Alberto says he has to wait until Night of Champions to get his hands on Alberto. Cena also has a message for Alberto that he wants Ricardo to deliver, and then punches Ricardo in the face.
Wade Barrett comes out to berate Cena for beating up a fat ring announcer, and Cena correctly replies that if he wanted to beat up a FAT ring announcer, he'd have beaten up Tony Chimmel. Tony seems like a nice man, but Cena is right, he is much fatter than Ricardo, and the way his voice cracks reminds me of Peter Brady. Cena says he still owes Barrett some payback, and their match is next.
Commercial
Match #1: John Cena versus Wade Barrett.
Cena starts off fast with a lot of punches and kicks. Cena takes Barrett down with a one armed bull dog and the follows up with a headlock. Barrett gets to his feet and pushes Cena to the corner. Barrett lands a punch and then a kick. Cena responds with a shoulder block and a body slam. Wade gets to his feet, and after an Irish Whip, takes Cena to the mat with a side slam. Barrett lands several kicks and punches and whips Cena to the ropes. Cena hits Barrett with a pair of shoulder blocks, the 5 knuckle shuffle, and then the attitude adjustment for the win.
After the match, Matt Striker interviews Mark Henry. Henry will be facing the winner of tonight's steel cage match, and Striker asks Henry what a steel cage match is like. Henry says that was the stupidest question ever asked. I'm sure it's not the stupidest question ever asked. What about when George Bush asked (after touring the gas chambers at Auschwitz) "boy, they were big on crematoriums, weren't they?"
Henry says that the steel cage match is the most dangerous match there is, and both Christian and Orton are going to lose tonight, because the winner is going to get hurt when he wrestles Mark Henry at Night of Champions.
Commercial
Match #2: Sin Cara versus Daniel Bryan.
Bryan and Sin Cara lock up, and after a couple arm twists and reversals, Sin Cara takes Bryan down with a wheelbarrow into an arm drag. Bryan reverses the arm drag and after an Irish Whip drop kicks Sin Cara to the floor. Bryan hits Sin Cara with a suicide dive on the floor and then rolls him back in. Bryan lands a few stiff kicks to the chest and then drop kicks Sin Cara into the corner.
Bryan puts Sin Cara into a surfboard and then drops his head into a dragon sleeper. Sin Cara escapes, and after an Irish Whip, backdrops Bryan to the floor. Sin Cara hits Bryan with a kick, knocking him away from the ring, and then hits him with a crossbody from the second rope. Sin Cara rolls Bryan back in and then hits him with a slingshot senton.
Sin Cara and Bryan exchange a couple strikes and Bryan runs up the ropes and flips over Sin Cara. Bryan goes for a crossbody and Sin Cara does at the same time; both men go down. Sin Cara lands several stiff kicks and Bryan responds with a European uppercut and several stiff kicks of his own. Sin Cara hits Bryan with a Samoan drop, a springboard senton and a moonsault from the second rope for the win.
After the match, Sin Cara offers Bryan his hand, and then hits him in the head instead. Sin Cara has just turned heel.
Commercial
When we return, Matt Striker asks Christian if he's worried about his steel cage match tonight with Randy Orton. Christian replies that even though Edge and Brett Hart have turned their backs on Christian, even calling him a whiner and a little bitch, Christian is a fighter, and this is his night.
Commercial
Match #3: Natalya and Beth Phoenix versus Kelly Kelly and Alicia Fox with Aksana as the special guest announcer.
Kelly starts out against Natalya and lands a few strikes and a Thesz press, but the advantage is short lived. Natalya tags Beth and they double team Kelly. Kelly tags in Alicia, Alicia lands a couple strikes. Beth hits Alicia with the Glam Slam for the win.
Commercial
When we return, Teddy Long is in the ring to announce the contract signing for the match between CM Punk and HHH at Night of Champions. Teddy Long fades into the background as HHH and CM Punk have a war of words.
Punk says that HHH is unable to keep his personal feelings and business separate, just like Vince McMahon, and that he is here to bring change to the WWE. HHH says that comparing him to Vince is a compliment, and that while many people may agree with Punk, a lot of people also love the WWE just the way it is. Punk says he loves the WWE to, that's why he wants to make it better: he wants everyone to love it.
HHH says he wanted this match because Punk has continued insulting HHH, his family, and the WWE even after he's gotten everything he wanted. Punk asks HHH not to fine or suspend him after he kicks his ass at Night of Champions, and HHH responds that he is going to kick Punk's "skinny fat ass". I'm not sure which word HHH doesn't understand, but it seems clear he is unaware that "skinny" and "fat" are opposites.
Kevin Nash comes out to interrupt and goes after Punk. HHH tries to keep Punk and Nash apart but eventually Punk lands several punches and kicks before being knocked down by Nash and HHH. Nash and HHH are apparently not on the same page however, as Nash pushes down HHH before leaving the ring.
Commercial
Match #4: Sheamus versus the Great Khali with Jinder Mahal.
A fan held up a sign that read "I can finally cheer for Sheamus" He must be happy Sheamus is no longer evil. He'll probably be very disappointed when Sheamus turns evil again in a few months. The match starts off with Sheamus landing a couple punches and putting Khali in a headlock. Khali sort of picks Sheamus up and kind of slams him. It was ridiculously sloppy. Khali is a HORRIBLE wrestler.
Khali beats Sheamus down in the corner and stomps on him. Khali hits Sheamus with a couple big chops in the corner and then applies the dreaded nerve/shoulder pinch. Sheamus escapes with a pair of elbow strikes and then lands a couple punches. Sheamus presses the advantage and hits Khali with a couple double fisted strikes, and then knocks Khali down with a dropkick to the knee.
Sheamus traps Khali in the ropes and then pounds on his chest repeatedly and follows up with a knee lift to the head. Sheamus goes to the top rope and hits Khali with a flying shoulder block and then sets up for the Brogue kick. Jinder Mahal runs in to stop Sheamus and causes Khali to lose by DQ. Jinder and Khali gang up on Sheamus, but Sheamus eventually hits Khali with a Brogue kick and Jinder with the Celtic Cross, taking them both out.
Commercial
Match #5: Randy Orton versus Christian in a steel cage for the heavyweight championship.
The match begins with Christian immediately trying to escape by the door and then over the top, getting cut off by Orton both times. Christian is still on the top turnbuckle and knocks Orton off with a punch. Christian comes flying off the top and Orton hits him with a dropkick in mid air.
Commercial
When we return, Christian pushes Orton to the corner and lands a punch. After an Irish Whip, Orton clotheslines Christian. Christian slams Orton into the corner and tries to climb out again. Orton grabs Christian and tosses him halfway across the ring. Christian lands a kick and whips Orton to the ropes. Orton backdrops Christian, hits him with a knee drop, and then makes his way to the door, but then stops to beat on Christian some more.
Orton tries to hit Christian with a rope-hung DDT but Christian blocks it and backdrops Orton into the cage. Christian kicks Orton in the head and then pushes his head into the cage with his boot. Christian again tries to climb out but Orton cuts him off and then rolls him up for a two count. Christian hits Orton with a spinebuster and then pounds Orton's head into the mat. Christian hits a neckbreaker and then makes his way to the door.
Christian nearly makes it out before Orton cuts him off again. Orton lands a series of punches; Christian spins him around and lands several punches and kicks of his own. Christian again tries to climb out and gets one leg over before Orton stops him. Orton hits Christian with a headbutt then superplexes him off the top rope.
Commercial
When we return, Christian crawls to the door and tries to pull himself out as Orton tries to pull him back in. Christian lands a couple punches and whips Orton to the ropes. As Christian charges, Orton uses his own momentum against him and sends him flying into the cage. Randy lands a couple clotheslines and a scoop slam. Orton tries for a rope-hung DDT but Christian again counters and responds with an inverted DDT.
Christian tries to climb out but Orton cuts him off again. Christian pushes Orton off onto the floor and then hits him with a frog splash. Christian again tries to go out the door but Orton stops him again. Christian kicks Orton off of him and then sets up for a spear. As Christian charges for the spear, Orton leapfrogs him and tries to hit and RKO. Christian blocks the RKO, pushes Orton away, and then spears him for a two count. Christian backs up and appears to be setting up an Orton-style punt to the head. Christian charges but Orton gets out of the way of the punt. Christian passes by Orton and without turning around runs up the ropes. Christian fakes like he's going to come off the ropes to attack Orton, but then starts to climb again when Orton pauses.
Orton again stops Christian and then hits him with a modified belly to back suplex into a backbreaker. Christian tries to hit the Kill Switch, but Orton blocks it and then slams Christian into the cage. Orton hits Christian with a rope-hung DDT and then sets up for an RKO. Christian blocks the RKO and then climbs up the cage. Christian gets nearly halfway out of the cage before Orton pulls him back in. The two men fight back and forth on the top turnbuckle until Orton gets the better of the exchange, and then Orton hits Christian with an RKO from the top turnbuckle for the win!
After the match, Mark Henry comes out to attack Orton. Orton tries to fight back, but is wiped out from the match and gets beaten down. Henry hits Orton with a clothesline, a headbutt, a splash, and then slams his face into the cage. Henry hits Orton with the World's Strongest Slam and then grabs Orton's title from referee Charles Robinson. Henry drops the title on Orton's chest and then poses over his fallen body as SmackDown goes off the air.
Cena then calls out Alberto Del Rio, and is met instead by Alberto's personal announcer, Ricardo Rodriguez. Ricardo tells Cena that Alberto says he has to wait until Night of Champions to get his hands on Alberto. Cena also has a message for Alberto that he wants Ricardo to deliver, and then punches Ricardo in the face.
Wade Barrett comes out to berate Cena for beating up a fat ring announcer, and Cena correctly replies that if he wanted to beat up a FAT ring announcer, he'd have beaten up Tony Chimmel. Tony seems like a nice man, but Cena is right, he is much fatter than Ricardo, and the way his voice cracks reminds me of Peter Brady. Cena says he still owes Barrett some payback, and their match is next.
Commercial
Match #1: John Cena versus Wade Barrett.
Cena starts off fast with a lot of punches and kicks. Cena takes Barrett down with a one armed bull dog and the follows up with a headlock. Barrett gets to his feet and pushes Cena to the corner. Barrett lands a punch and then a kick. Cena responds with a shoulder block and a body slam. Wade gets to his feet, and after an Irish Whip, takes Cena to the mat with a side slam. Barrett lands several kicks and punches and whips Cena to the ropes. Cena hits Barrett with a pair of shoulder blocks, the 5 knuckle shuffle, and then the attitude adjustment for the win.
After the match, Matt Striker interviews Mark Henry. Henry will be facing the winner of tonight's steel cage match, and Striker asks Henry what a steel cage match is like. Henry says that was the stupidest question ever asked. I'm sure it's not the stupidest question ever asked. What about when George Bush asked (after touring the gas chambers at Auschwitz) "boy, they were big on crematoriums, weren't they?"
Henry says that the steel cage match is the most dangerous match there is, and both Christian and Orton are going to lose tonight, because the winner is going to get hurt when he wrestles Mark Henry at Night of Champions.
Commercial
Match #2: Sin Cara versus Daniel Bryan.
Bryan and Sin Cara lock up, and after a couple arm twists and reversals, Sin Cara takes Bryan down with a wheelbarrow into an arm drag. Bryan reverses the arm drag and after an Irish Whip drop kicks Sin Cara to the floor. Bryan hits Sin Cara with a suicide dive on the floor and then rolls him back in. Bryan lands a few stiff kicks to the chest and then drop kicks Sin Cara into the corner.
Bryan puts Sin Cara into a surfboard and then drops his head into a dragon sleeper. Sin Cara escapes, and after an Irish Whip, backdrops Bryan to the floor. Sin Cara hits Bryan with a kick, knocking him away from the ring, and then hits him with a crossbody from the second rope. Sin Cara rolls Bryan back in and then hits him with a slingshot senton.
Sin Cara and Bryan exchange a couple strikes and Bryan runs up the ropes and flips over Sin Cara. Bryan goes for a crossbody and Sin Cara does at the same time; both men go down. Sin Cara lands several stiff kicks and Bryan responds with a European uppercut and several stiff kicks of his own. Sin Cara hits Bryan with a Samoan drop, a springboard senton and a moonsault from the second rope for the win.
After the match, Sin Cara offers Bryan his hand, and then hits him in the head instead. Sin Cara has just turned heel.
Commercial
When we return, Matt Striker asks Christian if he's worried about his steel cage match tonight with Randy Orton. Christian replies that even though Edge and Brett Hart have turned their backs on Christian, even calling him a whiner and a little bitch, Christian is a fighter, and this is his night.
Commercial
Match #3: Natalya and Beth Phoenix versus Kelly Kelly and Alicia Fox with Aksana as the special guest announcer.
Kelly starts out against Natalya and lands a few strikes and a Thesz press, but the advantage is short lived. Natalya tags Beth and they double team Kelly. Kelly tags in Alicia, Alicia lands a couple strikes. Beth hits Alicia with the Glam Slam for the win.
Commercial
When we return, Teddy Long is in the ring to announce the contract signing for the match between CM Punk and HHH at Night of Champions. Teddy Long fades into the background as HHH and CM Punk have a war of words.
Punk says that HHH is unable to keep his personal feelings and business separate, just like Vince McMahon, and that he is here to bring change to the WWE. HHH says that comparing him to Vince is a compliment, and that while many people may agree with Punk, a lot of people also love the WWE just the way it is. Punk says he loves the WWE to, that's why he wants to make it better: he wants everyone to love it.
HHH says he wanted this match because Punk has continued insulting HHH, his family, and the WWE even after he's gotten everything he wanted. Punk asks HHH not to fine or suspend him after he kicks his ass at Night of Champions, and HHH responds that he is going to kick Punk's "skinny fat ass". I'm not sure which word HHH doesn't understand, but it seems clear he is unaware that "skinny" and "fat" are opposites.
Kevin Nash comes out to interrupt and goes after Punk. HHH tries to keep Punk and Nash apart but eventually Punk lands several punches and kicks before being knocked down by Nash and HHH. Nash and HHH are apparently not on the same page however, as Nash pushes down HHH before leaving the ring.
Commercial
Match #4: Sheamus versus the Great Khali with Jinder Mahal.
A fan held up a sign that read "I can finally cheer for Sheamus" He must be happy Sheamus is no longer evil. He'll probably be very disappointed when Sheamus turns evil again in a few months. The match starts off with Sheamus landing a couple punches and putting Khali in a headlock. Khali sort of picks Sheamus up and kind of slams him. It was ridiculously sloppy. Khali is a HORRIBLE wrestler.
Khali beats Sheamus down in the corner and stomps on him. Khali hits Sheamus with a couple big chops in the corner and then applies the dreaded nerve/shoulder pinch. Sheamus escapes with a pair of elbow strikes and then lands a couple punches. Sheamus presses the advantage and hits Khali with a couple double fisted strikes, and then knocks Khali down with a dropkick to the knee.
Sheamus traps Khali in the ropes and then pounds on his chest repeatedly and follows up with a knee lift to the head. Sheamus goes to the top rope and hits Khali with a flying shoulder block and then sets up for the Brogue kick. Jinder Mahal runs in to stop Sheamus and causes Khali to lose by DQ. Jinder and Khali gang up on Sheamus, but Sheamus eventually hits Khali with a Brogue kick and Jinder with the Celtic Cross, taking them both out.
Commercial
Match #5: Randy Orton versus Christian in a steel cage for the heavyweight championship.
The match begins with Christian immediately trying to escape by the door and then over the top, getting cut off by Orton both times. Christian is still on the top turnbuckle and knocks Orton off with a punch. Christian comes flying off the top and Orton hits him with a dropkick in mid air.
Commercial
When we return, Christian pushes Orton to the corner and lands a punch. After an Irish Whip, Orton clotheslines Christian. Christian slams Orton into the corner and tries to climb out again. Orton grabs Christian and tosses him halfway across the ring. Christian lands a kick and whips Orton to the ropes. Orton backdrops Christian, hits him with a knee drop, and then makes his way to the door, but then stops to beat on Christian some more.
Orton tries to hit Christian with a rope-hung DDT but Christian blocks it and backdrops Orton into the cage. Christian kicks Orton in the head and then pushes his head into the cage with his boot. Christian again tries to climb out but Orton cuts him off and then rolls him up for a two count. Christian hits Orton with a spinebuster and then pounds Orton's head into the mat. Christian hits a neckbreaker and then makes his way to the door.
Christian nearly makes it out before Orton cuts him off again. Orton lands a series of punches; Christian spins him around and lands several punches and kicks of his own. Christian again tries to climb out and gets one leg over before Orton stops him. Orton hits Christian with a headbutt then superplexes him off the top rope.
Commercial
When we return, Christian crawls to the door and tries to pull himself out as Orton tries to pull him back in. Christian lands a couple punches and whips Orton to the ropes. As Christian charges, Orton uses his own momentum against him and sends him flying into the cage. Randy lands a couple clotheslines and a scoop slam. Orton tries for a rope-hung DDT but Christian again counters and responds with an inverted DDT.
Christian tries to climb out but Orton cuts him off again. Christian pushes Orton off onto the floor and then hits him with a frog splash. Christian again tries to go out the door but Orton stops him again. Christian kicks Orton off of him and then sets up for a spear. As Christian charges for the spear, Orton leapfrogs him and tries to hit and RKO. Christian blocks the RKO, pushes Orton away, and then spears him for a two count. Christian backs up and appears to be setting up an Orton-style punt to the head. Christian charges but Orton gets out of the way of the punt. Christian passes by Orton and without turning around runs up the ropes. Christian fakes like he's going to come off the ropes to attack Orton, but then starts to climb again when Orton pauses.
Orton again stops Christian and then hits him with a modified belly to back suplex into a backbreaker. Christian tries to hit the Kill Switch, but Orton blocks it and then slams Christian into the cage. Orton hits Christian with a rope-hung DDT and then sets up for an RKO. Christian blocks the RKO and then climbs up the cage. Christian gets nearly halfway out of the cage before Orton pulls him back in. The two men fight back and forth on the top turnbuckle until Orton gets the better of the exchange, and then Orton hits Christian with an RKO from the top turnbuckle for the win!
After the match, Mark Henry comes out to attack Orton. Orton tries to fight back, but is wiped out from the match and gets beaten down. Henry hits Orton with a clothesline, a headbutt, a splash, and then slams his face into the cage. Henry hits Orton with the World's Strongest Slam and then grabs Orton's title from referee Charles Robinson. Henry drops the title on Orton's chest and then poses over his fallen body as SmackDown goes off the air.
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