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| Reported by Ernest I Aguilar |
The Smack is being laid Down for us tonight in Tucson Arizona. The show opens with the Big Show apologizing for running over AJ recently. Show claims that he already apologized to AJ in person and she immediately accepted, but he's still clearly upset. Show says this was not an isolated incident; even as a child his size caused him to unintentionally hurt people.
When the Big Show joined the WWE, he felt like he had found a home, a place where he belonged. But after the incident with AJ, Big Show has started seriously contemplating retirement after his triple threat match at the Royal Rumble. Big Show is interrupted by Daniel Bryan.
Bryan claims that if Big Show was sincere, he'd retire right now. Bryan tells Show he though the WWE was for athletes, not genetic freaks. Before Big Show can mention Andre the Giant, Bryan tells him he's no Andre. Bryan continues yelling at the Big Show and poking him in the chest. Eventually, Bryan slaps Big Show hard across the face, twice.
Big Show finally loses his temper and shoves Bryan into the corner. Show calls Bryan an arrogant little ass and throws him across the ring. Before the beating can go any further, Mark Henry comes out and interrupts them.
Henry says he doesn't care about the Big Shows feelings, or Daniel Bryan's Napoleon complex, or a 95 lb girl in a training bra. Henry also tells Bryan that after the way he weaseled out of their lumberjack match last week, he was going to tear him apart.
Bryan blames the way last week's match ended on Teddy Long for putting the Lumberjacks out there and even claims to be just as disappointed as Mark was. At this point, Teddy Long comes out and makes a match for later tonight: Big Show versus Mark Henry. Daniel Bryan seems pleased.
Commercial
Match #1: IC champ Cody Rhodes versus Justin Gabriel.
Justin starts things off with some kicks and punches, Cody responds with a spinebuster. Cody stomps on Gabriel on the mat and then hits him with a knee strike when he gets back to his feet. Cody takes Justin down with a side Russian leg sweep and then ties up his arm. Justin fights his way out and takes Cody over with a monkey flip.
Justin hits Cody with a series of kicks, finishing with a leaping spin kick. Justin follows up with a flying forearm that sends Cody sprawling to the floor. Justin shoots himself over the top rope and hits Cody with a twisting senton. Gabriel rolls Cody back into the ring and hits him with a springboard cross body, but Rhodes rolls through it and covers Justin for a 2 count.
Gabriel slams Cody to the mat and then goes for another springboard maneuver but misses. Cody hits Gabriel with his "beautiful disaster" (a springboard kick) and finishes him off with CrossRhodes (a spinning facebuster)
In the back, Santino has more suggestions for his boss, Teddy Long. Santino's first idea is for a loser leaves earth match, in which the loser is literally put into space. Teddy doesn't go for that so Santino suggests a new tag team: SanToshi! The team would consist of Santino Marella and Yoshi Tatsu, or, as he's known by Santino; Toshi Yatsu. Yoshi prefers the name "Yoshino", probably because his part of the name is spelled correctly and comes first that way. Santino prefers Santoshi, but either way, Teddy approves of the creation of the team.
They are interrupted by Drew McIntyre. Drew is here for part one of his weekly ritual: He begs Teddy not to fire him, Teddy says win tonight or you are fired. Part two will come later when he loses and Teddy still doesn't fire him. Teddy tells Drew he will be wrestling Sheamus. It looks like Sheamus gets an easy win this week!
Commercial
Match #2: Sheamus versus Drew McIntyre.
Sheamus starts things off with several punches; Drew responds with a punch and a kick. Sheamus takes Drew down with a clothesline and then pummels him. Drew tries to fight back with a kick, but Sheamus quickly gets Drew up on his shoulders and hits him with a rolling fireman's carry slam. Drew retreats to the ropes, and then grabs Sheamus by the head and snaps his neck down over the top rope. Drew pounds on Sheamus for a while and then slams him to the mat.
Drew stays on offense and hits Sheamus with a punch and a suplex. Drew lands a kick to the back before Sheamus starts to turn things around. Sheamus shoves Drew to the corner and pummels him. Sheamus hits Drew with a clothesline and then a front slam. Drew lands a punch, but Sheamus responds with a Brogue kick for the win. Drew is supposed to get fired now, but I'm pretty sure we'll see him begging for his job next week. Call me psychic.
Commercial
This entire segment consisted of a Royal Rumble preview video, and a brief look at "SanToshi" before the next commercial.
Match #2: Santino and Yoshi versus Epico and Primo.
Santino and Primo start the match off. Santino gets the early advantage, hitting Primo with an armdrag and then spinning on his back like an amateur wrestler high on coke. Santino takes Primo down again with a leg trip and then tags in Yoshi. Yoshi comes off the top rope and hits Primo's arm. Yoshi hits Primo with a chop, an Irish Whip, and then a kick. Primo tags in Epico and Epico takes Yoshi down with a butterfly suplex.
Epico grabs Yoshi by the head but Yoshi fights his way out. Yoshi tries, unsuccessfully, to pin Epico with a backslide and then tags in Santino. Santino lands several punches and then uses a split to dodge a counter punch from Epico. Yoshi and Primo get involved in the ring until Yoshi takes Primo to the floor. Santino sets up the Cobra but Epico dodges it and hits Santino with a backstabber for the win.
In the back, Daniel Bryan approaches Mark Henry. Daniel tries to convince Mark Henry to intentionally injure the Big Show in their match tonight. Mark probably wanted to hurt him anyway, but this does make Bryan look like a sneaky little jerk. Commercial
Match #3: Wade Barrett versus Randy Orton.
Before the match, Barrett claims Orton will not compete tonight. Barrett claims that while Orton's doctors may say he can compete, he's spiritually broken after Barrett tossed him down a flight of stairs. Barrett shows us the footage from their recent falls count anywhere match in which Orton ends up unconscious at the bottom of a flight of stairs.
Randy Orton is shown in the back walking angrily towards the ring. As Orton enters the arena, Barrett runs out to attack. The two men brawl on the entry ramp and the match never even gets started. Orton gets the better of the exchange, hitting Barrett with punches, a European uppercut, and a clothesline. Several refs are unable to break up the fight so Teddy Long sends several wrestlers from the back to break it up.
Barrett gets in a cheap shot while Orton is held back. Orton eventually breaks free and spears Barrett. Barret retreats to the locker room while Orton is held back in the ring by Trent Barreta, Reks and Hawkins, and the Usos. Randy RKOs everyone in the ring; first Reks and Hawkins, then Barretta, and finally the Usos.
Commercial
When we return, Daniel Bryan is asking Kaitlyn to do a favor for her best friend, AJ. Bryan wants Kaitlyn to tell the Big Show that Mark Henry intends to injure him tonight. Kaitlyn thinks this is more of a favor for Bryan than for AJ, and asks Bryan how he really feels about AJ. Bryan says that he likes to keep his feelings private, but the sooner she talks to the Big Show, the better.
Match #4: Hunico with Camacho versus Ted DiBiase.
DiBiase (sporting a heavily taped wrist) starts things off with a hip toss and a kick to the head. Hunico responds by attacking the injured wrist of DiBiase with a punch and a kick. Hunico then wraps up DiBiase's wrist and squeezes, turning up the pressure. Dibiase punches his way out and hits Hunico with a clothesline.
DiBiase tries to hit Dream Street, but Hunico blocks the attempt and drives both knees into DiBiase's injured wrist. Hunico hits DiBiase with an Angle slam for the win. After the match Hunico and Camacho double team DiBiase. After beating DiBiase inside the ring, the heels smash his wrist on the steel steps outside the ring.
In the back Teddy and Aksana are interrupted by Natalya. Natalya wants a rematch with Tamina, who she referred to as a "whack job". Aksana repeats the word "whackjob" and tells Natalya what she does to Teddy in private is her own business. Teddy books a match between Natalya and Aksana. Apparently someone farted, because everyone including Santino leaves holding their noses.
Commercial
Match #5: Alex Riley versus the Funkasaurus Brodus Clay with his funky dancers; Cameron and Naomi.
Alex appears to like Clay's move and shows off a few lame moves of his own. Brodus hits him with a T Bone suplex, a corner splash, and a crossbody (that he calls "what the funk") for the win.
After the match, Kaitlyn can be seen talking to the Big Show in the backstage area.
Commercial
When we return, we see a very, very long recap of Zach Ryder getting beaten down by Kane on Raw. The clip ends with Eve telling Cena it's all his fault just before leaving with Zach in the ambulance. Josh asks Cena how he feels and Cena angrily slaps the mic out of his hand.
Match #6: Aksana versus Natalya.
Aksana wins by rollup in just a few seconds. Natalya's win/loss record is as bad as Drew McIntryre's. After the match, Natalya cheap shots Aksana and puts her in the Sharpshooter. Aksana is saved by Tamina, who runs in and hits Natalya with a Samoan Drop and a Superfly Splash from the top rope.
Commercial
Match #7: Big Show versus Mark Henry.
Daniel Bryan comes out from the back to watch the match. Big Show starts off with a kick, a punch, and a headbutt. Henry rolls to the floor and the Big Show pursues. After beating Henry some more, Big Show rolls him back into the ring. Big Show hits Henry with a couple big chops in the corner and another punch. Henry lands several punches of his own before being knocked down by the Big Show. Henry falls on his face and rolls to the floor.
Commercial
When we return, the match has apparently ended. Mark Henry is gone, counted out. It looks like something went very wrong with this match. For some reason they had the finish to the main event occur during a commercial break of a taped show.
It's not as though SmackDown is live, it's taped on Tuesdays; so something clearly has gone wrong. Henry may be genuinely injured. Daniel Bryan sneaks into the ring with a steel chair and beats the Big Show with it over and over again for several minutes. Eventually Bryan puts the Big Show in the Lebell Lock, and Show looks like he wants to tap out. Big Show powers out instead and hits Bryan with a chokeslam.
Bryan retreats to the floor before Show can hit him with a big right hand to the face. Big Show stands triumphant in the ring and Daniel Bryan crawls away as SmackDown comes to a close.
When the Big Show joined the WWE, he felt like he had found a home, a place where he belonged. But after the incident with AJ, Big Show has started seriously contemplating retirement after his triple threat match at the Royal Rumble. Big Show is interrupted by Daniel Bryan.
Bryan claims that if Big Show was sincere, he'd retire right now. Bryan tells Show he though the WWE was for athletes, not genetic freaks. Before Big Show can mention Andre the Giant, Bryan tells him he's no Andre. Bryan continues yelling at the Big Show and poking him in the chest. Eventually, Bryan slaps Big Show hard across the face, twice.
Big Show finally loses his temper and shoves Bryan into the corner. Show calls Bryan an arrogant little ass and throws him across the ring. Before the beating can go any further, Mark Henry comes out and interrupts them.
Henry says he doesn't care about the Big Shows feelings, or Daniel Bryan's Napoleon complex, or a 95 lb girl in a training bra. Henry also tells Bryan that after the way he weaseled out of their lumberjack match last week, he was going to tear him apart.
Bryan blames the way last week's match ended on Teddy Long for putting the Lumberjacks out there and even claims to be just as disappointed as Mark was. At this point, Teddy Long comes out and makes a match for later tonight: Big Show versus Mark Henry. Daniel Bryan seems pleased.
Commercial
Match #1: IC champ Cody Rhodes versus Justin Gabriel.
Justin starts things off with some kicks and punches, Cody responds with a spinebuster. Cody stomps on Gabriel on the mat and then hits him with a knee strike when he gets back to his feet. Cody takes Justin down with a side Russian leg sweep and then ties up his arm. Justin fights his way out and takes Cody over with a monkey flip.
Justin hits Cody with a series of kicks, finishing with a leaping spin kick. Justin follows up with a flying forearm that sends Cody sprawling to the floor. Justin shoots himself over the top rope and hits Cody with a twisting senton. Gabriel rolls Cody back into the ring and hits him with a springboard cross body, but Rhodes rolls through it and covers Justin for a 2 count.
Gabriel slams Cody to the mat and then goes for another springboard maneuver but misses. Cody hits Gabriel with his "beautiful disaster" (a springboard kick) and finishes him off with CrossRhodes (a spinning facebuster)
In the back, Santino has more suggestions for his boss, Teddy Long. Santino's first idea is for a loser leaves earth match, in which the loser is literally put into space. Teddy doesn't go for that so Santino suggests a new tag team: SanToshi! The team would consist of Santino Marella and Yoshi Tatsu, or, as he's known by Santino; Toshi Yatsu. Yoshi prefers the name "Yoshino", probably because his part of the name is spelled correctly and comes first that way. Santino prefers Santoshi, but either way, Teddy approves of the creation of the team.
They are interrupted by Drew McIntyre. Drew is here for part one of his weekly ritual: He begs Teddy not to fire him, Teddy says win tonight or you are fired. Part two will come later when he loses and Teddy still doesn't fire him. Teddy tells Drew he will be wrestling Sheamus. It looks like Sheamus gets an easy win this week!
Commercial
Match #2: Sheamus versus Drew McIntyre.
Sheamus starts things off with several punches; Drew responds with a punch and a kick. Sheamus takes Drew down with a clothesline and then pummels him. Drew tries to fight back with a kick, but Sheamus quickly gets Drew up on his shoulders and hits him with a rolling fireman's carry slam. Drew retreats to the ropes, and then grabs Sheamus by the head and snaps his neck down over the top rope. Drew pounds on Sheamus for a while and then slams him to the mat.
Drew stays on offense and hits Sheamus with a punch and a suplex. Drew lands a kick to the back before Sheamus starts to turn things around. Sheamus shoves Drew to the corner and pummels him. Sheamus hits Drew with a clothesline and then a front slam. Drew lands a punch, but Sheamus responds with a Brogue kick for the win. Drew is supposed to get fired now, but I'm pretty sure we'll see him begging for his job next week. Call me psychic.
Commercial
This entire segment consisted of a Royal Rumble preview video, and a brief look at "SanToshi" before the next commercial.
Match #2: Santino and Yoshi versus Epico and Primo.
Santino and Primo start the match off. Santino gets the early advantage, hitting Primo with an armdrag and then spinning on his back like an amateur wrestler high on coke. Santino takes Primo down again with a leg trip and then tags in Yoshi. Yoshi comes off the top rope and hits Primo's arm. Yoshi hits Primo with a chop, an Irish Whip, and then a kick. Primo tags in Epico and Epico takes Yoshi down with a butterfly suplex.
Epico grabs Yoshi by the head but Yoshi fights his way out. Yoshi tries, unsuccessfully, to pin Epico with a backslide and then tags in Santino. Santino lands several punches and then uses a split to dodge a counter punch from Epico. Yoshi and Primo get involved in the ring until Yoshi takes Primo to the floor. Santino sets up the Cobra but Epico dodges it and hits Santino with a backstabber for the win.
In the back, Daniel Bryan approaches Mark Henry. Daniel tries to convince Mark Henry to intentionally injure the Big Show in their match tonight. Mark probably wanted to hurt him anyway, but this does make Bryan look like a sneaky little jerk. Commercial
Match #3: Wade Barrett versus Randy Orton.
Before the match, Barrett claims Orton will not compete tonight. Barrett claims that while Orton's doctors may say he can compete, he's spiritually broken after Barrett tossed him down a flight of stairs. Barrett shows us the footage from their recent falls count anywhere match in which Orton ends up unconscious at the bottom of a flight of stairs.
Randy Orton is shown in the back walking angrily towards the ring. As Orton enters the arena, Barrett runs out to attack. The two men brawl on the entry ramp and the match never even gets started. Orton gets the better of the exchange, hitting Barrett with punches, a European uppercut, and a clothesline. Several refs are unable to break up the fight so Teddy Long sends several wrestlers from the back to break it up.
Barrett gets in a cheap shot while Orton is held back. Orton eventually breaks free and spears Barrett. Barret retreats to the locker room while Orton is held back in the ring by Trent Barreta, Reks and Hawkins, and the Usos. Randy RKOs everyone in the ring; first Reks and Hawkins, then Barretta, and finally the Usos.
Commercial
When we return, Daniel Bryan is asking Kaitlyn to do a favor for her best friend, AJ. Bryan wants Kaitlyn to tell the Big Show that Mark Henry intends to injure him tonight. Kaitlyn thinks this is more of a favor for Bryan than for AJ, and asks Bryan how he really feels about AJ. Bryan says that he likes to keep his feelings private, but the sooner she talks to the Big Show, the better.
Match #4: Hunico with Camacho versus Ted DiBiase.
DiBiase (sporting a heavily taped wrist) starts things off with a hip toss and a kick to the head. Hunico responds by attacking the injured wrist of DiBiase with a punch and a kick. Hunico then wraps up DiBiase's wrist and squeezes, turning up the pressure. Dibiase punches his way out and hits Hunico with a clothesline.
DiBiase tries to hit Dream Street, but Hunico blocks the attempt and drives both knees into DiBiase's injured wrist. Hunico hits DiBiase with an Angle slam for the win. After the match Hunico and Camacho double team DiBiase. After beating DiBiase inside the ring, the heels smash his wrist on the steel steps outside the ring.
In the back Teddy and Aksana are interrupted by Natalya. Natalya wants a rematch with Tamina, who she referred to as a "whack job". Aksana repeats the word "whackjob" and tells Natalya what she does to Teddy in private is her own business. Teddy books a match between Natalya and Aksana. Apparently someone farted, because everyone including Santino leaves holding their noses.
Commercial
Match #5: Alex Riley versus the Funkasaurus Brodus Clay with his funky dancers; Cameron and Naomi.
Alex appears to like Clay's move and shows off a few lame moves of his own. Brodus hits him with a T Bone suplex, a corner splash, and a crossbody (that he calls "what the funk") for the win.
After the match, Kaitlyn can be seen talking to the Big Show in the backstage area.
Commercial
When we return, we see a very, very long recap of Zach Ryder getting beaten down by Kane on Raw. The clip ends with Eve telling Cena it's all his fault just before leaving with Zach in the ambulance. Josh asks Cena how he feels and Cena angrily slaps the mic out of his hand.
Match #6: Aksana versus Natalya.
Aksana wins by rollup in just a few seconds. Natalya's win/loss record is as bad as Drew McIntryre's. After the match, Natalya cheap shots Aksana and puts her in the Sharpshooter. Aksana is saved by Tamina, who runs in and hits Natalya with a Samoan Drop and a Superfly Splash from the top rope.
Commercial
Match #7: Big Show versus Mark Henry.
Daniel Bryan comes out from the back to watch the match. Big Show starts off with a kick, a punch, and a headbutt. Henry rolls to the floor and the Big Show pursues. After beating Henry some more, Big Show rolls him back into the ring. Big Show hits Henry with a couple big chops in the corner and another punch. Henry lands several punches of his own before being knocked down by the Big Show. Henry falls on his face and rolls to the floor.
Commercial
When we return, the match has apparently ended. Mark Henry is gone, counted out. It looks like something went very wrong with this match. For some reason they had the finish to the main event occur during a commercial break of a taped show.
It's not as though SmackDown is live, it's taped on Tuesdays; so something clearly has gone wrong. Henry may be genuinely injured. Daniel Bryan sneaks into the ring with a steel chair and beats the Big Show with it over and over again for several minutes. Eventually Bryan puts the Big Show in the Lebell Lock, and Show looks like he wants to tap out. Big Show powers out instead and hits Bryan with a chokeslam.
Bryan retreats to the floor before Show can hit him with a big right hand to the face. Big Show stands triumphant in the ring and Daniel Bryan crawls away as SmackDown comes to a close.
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