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| Reported by Ernest I Aguilar Zevallos |
The Smack is being laid Down for us tonight in Minneapolis Minnesota. The show begins with Randy Orton in the middle of the ring sitting on a chair. Randy says he has unfinished business with Christian and this show is going nowhere until Christian comes out.
Christian does come out and tells Orton he doesn't know what Orton means by unfinished business. Orton cuts him off and says as long as Christian breathes they have unfinished business. Christian tells Orton that Orton knew the rules in their PPV match and he broke them and therefore deserved to lose.
He tells Orton that maybe his unfinished business is with the voices in his head and his anger management problem. Orton, furious, reminds Christian that he spat in his face. Christian says he didn't mean to do that, but I doubt Orton believes him. It looked like he meant to do it.
Orton calls Christian a coward for hiding behind his lawyers and demands his rematch for the title tonight. Christian replies that he needed lawyers because he's been fighting an uphill battle against Teddy Long and corrupt officials. Randy says Christian isn't going to hide behind his lawyers now and advances on him.
Teddy Long comes out and has several referees separate the two men. Teddy tells Orton that he will get his rematch, but not tonight because he has already signed to face Kane tonight in a street fight. He also tells Christian that he will be facing the Intercontinental Champion, Ezekiel Jackson next.
Commercial
Match #1: IC champ Ezekiel Jackson versus World Champion Christian.
The two men lock up and Jackson pushes Christian down and Christian rolls to the floor. Christian gets behind Jackson; Jackson reverses and throws Christian across the ring. Jackson whips Christian into the ropes and then hits him in the back. Jackson punches Christian and then whips him into the ropes; Christian baseball slides under Jackson.
Jackson military presses Christian several times and then slams him. Christian gets to his feet and lands a few strikes before being back dropped to the floor by Jackson.
Commercial
When we return, the two wrestlers are still outside the ring and Jackson slams Christian into the announce table. Jackson then charges at Christian but Christian side steps and slams Jackson into the steel post.
Back in the ring Christian hits Jackson with a flying back elbow from the top turnbuckle. Jackson falls into the ropes and Christian stands on his back, pulling on the ropes to apply more pressure. Christian jumps to the floor and hits Jackson in the face. The two men exchange a series of blows and Jackson eventually gets the advantage.
Jackson hits Christian with three clotheslines. Jackson goes for a cover and gets only two. Christian goes for the Kill Switch (an inverted double underhook facebuster) but Jackson blocks it. Christian puts a sleeper on Jackson but Jackson powers out of it. Christian throws Jackson shoulder first through the corner and into the steel ring post. Christian goes for the Kill Switch again and this time hits it for the win.
Commercial
When we return we see a short video highlighting Cody Rhodes' transformation from "Dashing Cody Rhodes" to the disfigured crazy monster offended by how ugly we all are.
Michael Cole is in the ring to interview Money In the Bank Winner Daniel Bryan. Cole tells Bryan he thinks his win was a fluke and he will never deserve to be champion. Bryan tells Cole he didn't deserve to be in a marquee match at WrestleMania this year.
Bryan also tells us that unlike everyone that has cashed in a Money in the Bank contract, he is going to tell us all exactly where and when he will cash it in: next year in Miami Florida at WrestleMania 28.
He's always dreamed of winning the world title and main eventing WrestleMania, and he intends to do it next year. (This isn't exactly true. When Rob Van Dam won the Money in the Bank Ladder match he also announced when and where he was going to cash it in; at the "One Night Stand 2006" PPV in front of an ECW crowd against John Cena, the same show that featured the classic fan sign "If Cena wins, we riot")
Heath Slater comes out and interrupts Bryan. Slater tells Bryan he will be the first person to cash in Money in the Bank and lose, because he is a loser. He lost on NXT, he got kicked out of Nexus, and he's going to lose to Heath Slater tonight.
Match #2: Heath Slater versus Daniel Bryan.
Slater shoulder blocks Bryan to start things off. Bryan responds by going for the Lebell lock early. Slater makes it to the ropes and rolls to the floor to regroup.
Commercial
When we return, Bryan leapfrogs Slater and then takes him down with an armdrag. Bryan works on Slater's arm until Slater is able to free himself, knock Bryan down, and go for a cover. Bryan monkey flips Slater. Slater hits Bryan with a neckbreaker and then beats him down in the corner.
Slater puts Bryan in a chin lock then beats on him some more before whipping him into the corner. Bryan runs up the corner and over Slater and then drops him with a clothesline. Slater lands a kick but is then back dropped out of the ring by Bryan. Bryan steps outside the ropes and hits Slater in the head with a running knee from the ring apron.
Bryan rolls Slater back in and hits him with a missile dropkick. Bryan goes for a cover but gets only two. Slater hits Bryan with a spinebuster and gets a two count. Bryan lands a knee to the head and gets another two count. The two men exchange a couple more pin attempts before Bryan puts Slater in a guillotine choke. Slater taps out; Daniel Bryan wins!
We're shown a recap of Mark Henry's recent rampages. After the video, Matt Striker asks when the destruction will stop. Henry says it will never stop. He tells us he felt a perverse pleasure when he hurt the Big Show.
Commercial
When we return, we are shown a recap of Vince McMahon being replaced by his Son in Law Triple H as the man in charge of the WWE. Commercial
Match #3: Wade Barrett versus Sheamus.
The match starts with Sheamus getting the early advantage, beating Barrett down in the corner. Barrett quickly turns things around and gives Sheamus a beat down in the corner. After exchanging some more blows Barrett knocks Sheamus down with a back elbow and then mounts and pounds him.
Barrett hits a back kick and a boot to the face. Barrett goes for a cover and Sheamus kicks out at 2. Barrett gets Sheamus caught up in the ropes and pummels him, putting him in a Muay Thai clinch and bringing knees up into his face. Sheamus gets hit in the face with a big boot.
Barrett goes for a cover and gets a 2 count. Sheamus lands a kick to Wade's leg; Barrett responds with a kick of his own and a pump handle slam. Sheamus escapes before Barrett can complete the pump handle and hits him with a side slam backbreaker. Wade gets caught up in the ropes and Sheamus pounds on his chest repeatedly.
Barrett gets knocked to the ground and Sheamus goes after him. Sheamus mounts and pounds Barrett, but Barrett reverses it and mounts and pounds Sheamus. Wade whips Sheamus into the security barrier. Sheamus whips Barrett into the announce table. The referee counts out both men, the match ends in a double count out.
After the match, as Sheamus protests to the referee, Barrett attacks him from behind and pushes him into the steel post. Wade rolls Sheamus in and goes in after him. Barrett sets Sheamus up for "Wasteland" but Sheamus slides out of it. Sheamus hits Barrett with a Brogue kick and Barrett appears to be down and out.
In the back, Kane is preparing for his match with Randy Orton tonight. Kane says that he has been a monster in the WWE for the past 14 years, but lately he has been feeling more "human" and apparently he doesn't care for it.
Kane tells us that tonight he will use his match with Randy Orton as a vehicle to exorcise his humanity. Booker T doesn't know what that means; I think Booker thought Kane intends to "exercise" his humanity. Booker was a great in ring performer, but he's probably not the smartest person they've ever had on commentary.
Commercial
Match #4: Kane versus Randy Orton in a street fight.
Kane lands several punches to start the match and then clotheslines Orton in the corner. Orton responds with a boot to the face and a Thesz Press. Orton beats on Kane on the mat. Kane gets to his feet and goes for a choke slam. Orton fights his way out and tries for an RKO.
Kane pushes Orton off and throws him to the floor. Kane pursues and whips Orton into the security barrier. The two men battle back and forth as they make their way up the ramp. Kane gets the advantage, knocks Orton down, and then drags him to the ring. Before they get to the ring, Orton pushes Kane into the ring apron, knocking him down.
Orton gets a Kendo stick from under the ring and beats Kane with it repeatedly. Randy tries to set Kane up for a rope-hung DDT, but Kane backdrops Orton back to the floor instead. Kane pursues and slams Orton into the security barrier.
Commercial
When we return, Kane is pummeling Orton. Kane hits a seated Orton with a dropkick to the face. Kane lands some more blows, Orton tries to fight back. Kane charges at Orton but Orton sidesteps, causing Kane to fall to the floor. Orton leaps out after Kane but gets caught with a big right uppercut on his way down.
Kane prepares to choke slam Orton through the announce table, but Orton lands on his feet on top of the table. Orton lands a couple kicks but then suddenly one leg falls partly through the announce table and Orton takes a painful looking fall. It looks like Orton genuinely hurt his leg, but he smiles maniacally through the pain.
Orton mounts and pummels Kane, then drapes his leg over the lower half of the steel steps (the top half has been dislodged). Orton then takes the top half of the steel steps and slams it down onto Kane's leg. Kane howls in pain. Kane must now sell a leg injury that is not real while Orton struggles with a leg injury that is real.
Commercial
When we return, Orton and Kane exchange kicks. Kane lands the bigger shot, but falls due to his injured leg. Kane climbs to the top rope and flies, but Orton dodges. Orton slams Kane into the corner and then hits him with a rope hung DDT.
Orton looks crazed and sets Kane up for an RKO. Kane pushes Orton off and goes for a choke slam. Orton fights his way out and hits Kane with an RKO. Orton goes for a cover but gets only two!! Orton looks frustrated, but then gets a crazy look in his eyes again and sets up for a punt to the head. Kane gets up before Orton can land the kick and choke slams Orton! Kane goes for a cover but Orton kicks out at 2.
Commercial
When we return, Kane throws a chair into the ring and hits Orton in the gut with it, then 3 times in the back. Kane drops the chair on the mat and prepares to tombstone Orton onto the steel chair. Orton escapes and Kane goes for a choke slam instead. Orton gets free and hits Kane with an RKO on the steel chair for the win!
After the match, both men are limping and exhausted. Kane extends his hand to Orton, Orton accepts and they shake hands in a sign of mutual respect. Apparently Kane failed to exorcise his humanity. Orton walks back to the locker room while Kane limps around the ring.
Mark Henry comes out to the ring to confront Kane. Kane sees Henry, smiles, and then attacks him. Kane lands several punches before Henry drops him with a kick to Kane's injured leg. Henry knocks Kane down and then slams his bad leg onto the mat.
Henry hits Kane with the World's Strongest Slam and then a big splash. Henry leaves the ring to get a chair and then re-enters with it. Henry folds up the chair so that it's half over and half under Kane's bad leg. Henry then climbs to the top turnbuckle and hits Kane with a corner slingshot splash, crushing Kane's already injured leg.
The show ends with some trainers from the back coming out to tend to the screaming Kane as Mark Henry walks back to the locker room angrily shouting "I won this show" and taunting the injured Kane.
Christian does come out and tells Orton he doesn't know what Orton means by unfinished business. Orton cuts him off and says as long as Christian breathes they have unfinished business. Christian tells Orton that Orton knew the rules in their PPV match and he broke them and therefore deserved to lose.
He tells Orton that maybe his unfinished business is with the voices in his head and his anger management problem. Orton, furious, reminds Christian that he spat in his face. Christian says he didn't mean to do that, but I doubt Orton believes him. It looked like he meant to do it.
Orton calls Christian a coward for hiding behind his lawyers and demands his rematch for the title tonight. Christian replies that he needed lawyers because he's been fighting an uphill battle against Teddy Long and corrupt officials. Randy says Christian isn't going to hide behind his lawyers now and advances on him.
Teddy Long comes out and has several referees separate the two men. Teddy tells Orton that he will get his rematch, but not tonight because he has already signed to face Kane tonight in a street fight. He also tells Christian that he will be facing the Intercontinental Champion, Ezekiel Jackson next.
Commercial
Match #1: IC champ Ezekiel Jackson versus World Champion Christian.
The two men lock up and Jackson pushes Christian down and Christian rolls to the floor. Christian gets behind Jackson; Jackson reverses and throws Christian across the ring. Jackson whips Christian into the ropes and then hits him in the back. Jackson punches Christian and then whips him into the ropes; Christian baseball slides under Jackson.
Jackson military presses Christian several times and then slams him. Christian gets to his feet and lands a few strikes before being back dropped to the floor by Jackson.
Commercial
When we return, the two wrestlers are still outside the ring and Jackson slams Christian into the announce table. Jackson then charges at Christian but Christian side steps and slams Jackson into the steel post.
Back in the ring Christian hits Jackson with a flying back elbow from the top turnbuckle. Jackson falls into the ropes and Christian stands on his back, pulling on the ropes to apply more pressure. Christian jumps to the floor and hits Jackson in the face. The two men exchange a series of blows and Jackson eventually gets the advantage.
Jackson hits Christian with three clotheslines. Jackson goes for a cover and gets only two. Christian goes for the Kill Switch (an inverted double underhook facebuster) but Jackson blocks it. Christian puts a sleeper on Jackson but Jackson powers out of it. Christian throws Jackson shoulder first through the corner and into the steel ring post. Christian goes for the Kill Switch again and this time hits it for the win.
Commercial
When we return we see a short video highlighting Cody Rhodes' transformation from "Dashing Cody Rhodes" to the disfigured crazy monster offended by how ugly we all are.
Michael Cole is in the ring to interview Money In the Bank Winner Daniel Bryan. Cole tells Bryan he thinks his win was a fluke and he will never deserve to be champion. Bryan tells Cole he didn't deserve to be in a marquee match at WrestleMania this year.
Bryan also tells us that unlike everyone that has cashed in a Money in the Bank contract, he is going to tell us all exactly where and when he will cash it in: next year in Miami Florida at WrestleMania 28.
He's always dreamed of winning the world title and main eventing WrestleMania, and he intends to do it next year. (This isn't exactly true. When Rob Van Dam won the Money in the Bank Ladder match he also announced when and where he was going to cash it in; at the "One Night Stand 2006" PPV in front of an ECW crowd against John Cena, the same show that featured the classic fan sign "If Cena wins, we riot")
Heath Slater comes out and interrupts Bryan. Slater tells Bryan he will be the first person to cash in Money in the Bank and lose, because he is a loser. He lost on NXT, he got kicked out of Nexus, and he's going to lose to Heath Slater tonight.
Match #2: Heath Slater versus Daniel Bryan.
Slater shoulder blocks Bryan to start things off. Bryan responds by going for the Lebell lock early. Slater makes it to the ropes and rolls to the floor to regroup.
Commercial
When we return, Bryan leapfrogs Slater and then takes him down with an armdrag. Bryan works on Slater's arm until Slater is able to free himself, knock Bryan down, and go for a cover. Bryan monkey flips Slater. Slater hits Bryan with a neckbreaker and then beats him down in the corner.
Slater puts Bryan in a chin lock then beats on him some more before whipping him into the corner. Bryan runs up the corner and over Slater and then drops him with a clothesline. Slater lands a kick but is then back dropped out of the ring by Bryan. Bryan steps outside the ropes and hits Slater in the head with a running knee from the ring apron.
Bryan rolls Slater back in and hits him with a missile dropkick. Bryan goes for a cover but gets only two. Slater hits Bryan with a spinebuster and gets a two count. Bryan lands a knee to the head and gets another two count. The two men exchange a couple more pin attempts before Bryan puts Slater in a guillotine choke. Slater taps out; Daniel Bryan wins!
We're shown a recap of Mark Henry's recent rampages. After the video, Matt Striker asks when the destruction will stop. Henry says it will never stop. He tells us he felt a perverse pleasure when he hurt the Big Show.
Commercial
When we return, we are shown a recap of Vince McMahon being replaced by his Son in Law Triple H as the man in charge of the WWE. Commercial
Match #3: Wade Barrett versus Sheamus.
The match starts with Sheamus getting the early advantage, beating Barrett down in the corner. Barrett quickly turns things around and gives Sheamus a beat down in the corner. After exchanging some more blows Barrett knocks Sheamus down with a back elbow and then mounts and pounds him.
Barrett hits a back kick and a boot to the face. Barrett goes for a cover and Sheamus kicks out at 2. Barrett gets Sheamus caught up in the ropes and pummels him, putting him in a Muay Thai clinch and bringing knees up into his face. Sheamus gets hit in the face with a big boot.
Barrett goes for a cover and gets a 2 count. Sheamus lands a kick to Wade's leg; Barrett responds with a kick of his own and a pump handle slam. Sheamus escapes before Barrett can complete the pump handle and hits him with a side slam backbreaker. Wade gets caught up in the ropes and Sheamus pounds on his chest repeatedly.
Barrett gets knocked to the ground and Sheamus goes after him. Sheamus mounts and pounds Barrett, but Barrett reverses it and mounts and pounds Sheamus. Wade whips Sheamus into the security barrier. Sheamus whips Barrett into the announce table. The referee counts out both men, the match ends in a double count out.
After the match, as Sheamus protests to the referee, Barrett attacks him from behind and pushes him into the steel post. Wade rolls Sheamus in and goes in after him. Barrett sets Sheamus up for "Wasteland" but Sheamus slides out of it. Sheamus hits Barrett with a Brogue kick and Barrett appears to be down and out.
In the back, Kane is preparing for his match with Randy Orton tonight. Kane says that he has been a monster in the WWE for the past 14 years, but lately he has been feeling more "human" and apparently he doesn't care for it.
Kane tells us that tonight he will use his match with Randy Orton as a vehicle to exorcise his humanity. Booker T doesn't know what that means; I think Booker thought Kane intends to "exercise" his humanity. Booker was a great in ring performer, but he's probably not the smartest person they've ever had on commentary.
Commercial
Match #4: Kane versus Randy Orton in a street fight.
Kane lands several punches to start the match and then clotheslines Orton in the corner. Orton responds with a boot to the face and a Thesz Press. Orton beats on Kane on the mat. Kane gets to his feet and goes for a choke slam. Orton fights his way out and tries for an RKO.
Kane pushes Orton off and throws him to the floor. Kane pursues and whips Orton into the security barrier. The two men battle back and forth as they make their way up the ramp. Kane gets the advantage, knocks Orton down, and then drags him to the ring. Before they get to the ring, Orton pushes Kane into the ring apron, knocking him down.
Orton gets a Kendo stick from under the ring and beats Kane with it repeatedly. Randy tries to set Kane up for a rope-hung DDT, but Kane backdrops Orton back to the floor instead. Kane pursues and slams Orton into the security barrier.
Commercial
When we return, Kane is pummeling Orton. Kane hits a seated Orton with a dropkick to the face. Kane lands some more blows, Orton tries to fight back. Kane charges at Orton but Orton sidesteps, causing Kane to fall to the floor. Orton leaps out after Kane but gets caught with a big right uppercut on his way down.
Kane prepares to choke slam Orton through the announce table, but Orton lands on his feet on top of the table. Orton lands a couple kicks but then suddenly one leg falls partly through the announce table and Orton takes a painful looking fall. It looks like Orton genuinely hurt his leg, but he smiles maniacally through the pain.
Orton mounts and pummels Kane, then drapes his leg over the lower half of the steel steps (the top half has been dislodged). Orton then takes the top half of the steel steps and slams it down onto Kane's leg. Kane howls in pain. Kane must now sell a leg injury that is not real while Orton struggles with a leg injury that is real.
Commercial
When we return, Orton and Kane exchange kicks. Kane lands the bigger shot, but falls due to his injured leg. Kane climbs to the top rope and flies, but Orton dodges. Orton slams Kane into the corner and then hits him with a rope hung DDT.
Orton looks crazed and sets Kane up for an RKO. Kane pushes Orton off and goes for a choke slam. Orton fights his way out and hits Kane with an RKO. Orton goes for a cover but gets only two!! Orton looks frustrated, but then gets a crazy look in his eyes again and sets up for a punt to the head. Kane gets up before Orton can land the kick and choke slams Orton! Kane goes for a cover but Orton kicks out at 2.
Commercial
When we return, Kane throws a chair into the ring and hits Orton in the gut with it, then 3 times in the back. Kane drops the chair on the mat and prepares to tombstone Orton onto the steel chair. Orton escapes and Kane goes for a choke slam instead. Orton gets free and hits Kane with an RKO on the steel chair for the win!
After the match, both men are limping and exhausted. Kane extends his hand to Orton, Orton accepts and they shake hands in a sign of mutual respect. Apparently Kane failed to exorcise his humanity. Orton walks back to the locker room while Kane limps around the ring.
Mark Henry comes out to the ring to confront Kane. Kane sees Henry, smiles, and then attacks him. Kane lands several punches before Henry drops him with a kick to Kane's injured leg. Henry knocks Kane down and then slams his bad leg onto the mat.
Henry hits Kane with the World's Strongest Slam and then a big splash. Henry leaves the ring to get a chair and then re-enters with it. Henry folds up the chair so that it's half over and half under Kane's bad leg. Henry then climbs to the top turnbuckle and hits Kane with a corner slingshot splash, crushing Kane's already injured leg.
The show ends with some trainers from the back coming out to tend to the screaming Kane as Mark Henry walks back to the locker room angrily shouting "I won this show" and taunting the injured Kane.
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