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| Reported by Earnest I Aguilar |
Josh ask Randy if he's worried about the stipulation in his match with Christian that states that if Randy Orton is disqualified, then Christian is awarded the championship. Matthews reminds Orton that he has a history of anger management problems. Orton assures he will not let himself be DQ'd this Sunday, and that he will beat Christian.
Christian interrupts via the Titantron and tells Orton he doesn't want to beat him by DQ, but his lawyers made him put that in there. hristian then offers Randy a gift; a picture of Christian standing over Orton and holding Orton's title. Christian tells us this is how their match Sunday is going to end; with Christian standing over the fallen Randy Orton while holding the championship.
Orton tells Christian he thinks it's pathetic that Christian is trying to get in his head with a picture. Christian tells Orton that what's really pathetic is Orton's family. He says that Orton's dad Cowboy Bob Orton was just a sidekick that wore a cast for years and never came close to winning a world title.
According to Christian, Bob Orton was inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame as a joke, like Bob Uecker. Orton claims to be unable to hear Christian and challenges him to repeat everything he just said to his face. Christian says he'll do that on Sunday. Orton tells Christian he's a pathetic excuse for a man whose only claim to fame is winning 1 world title that he needed his best friends help to win, only to lose it 5 days later.
Commercial
Match #1: Ted DiBiase versus Intercontinental Champ Ezekiel Jackson for the IC title.
The two men lock up and Jackson pushes DiBiase to the corner. DiBiase slaps Jackson in the face and Jackson pummels DiBiase before throwing him across the ring. Jackson shoulder blocks DiBiase and gets a two count.
Jackson clotheslines DiBiase out of the ring and goes out after him. Jackson slams DiBiase's face into the edge of the ring apron and then picks Ted up. DiBiase slides out of Jackson's grip and pushes him into the steel ring post, then dropkicks him into it. Jackson rolls DiBiase back into the ring and covers him for a two count.
Ted finally starts to mount some offense and hits Jackson with several kicks and punches in the corner, then a drop toe hold that sends Jackson falling into the corner. Jackson gets up and DiBiase takes him down again and puts him in a chin lock after an unsuccessful pin attempt. DiBiase hits Jackson with several a knees to the face, but Jackson gets loose and hits DiBiase with several clotheslines.
Jackson bodyslams DiBiase, goes for a second but DiBiase gets out and goes for "Dream Street" (a cobra clutch slam). Jackson escapes and bodyslams DiBiase two more times and then puts him in the torture rack. DiBiase taps out and Jackson wins by submission. Commercial
When we return, Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase are together and Cody looks very disappointed in Ted. Cody tells DiBiase that he should put a paper bag over his head because he's such a loser. Ted says he tried, and Cody agrees to give him 1 more chance, but if he loses again, Cody will personally put a paper bag over his head. Cody then puts the bag over some strangers head. He doesn't seem to mind.
Match #2: Daniel Bryan versus Cody Rhodes.
Cody's paper bag distributing assistants give Booker T a paper bag to wear. He's been given them before, but I don't think he's worn it yet. Michael Cole does try it on, because he's an idiot. The two men lock up and Cody pushes Bryan to the corner, but Bryan quickly reverses it.
Rhodes goes for an Alabama Slamma but Bryan escapes and tries to apply the Lebell Lock. Cody escapes but is hit with several kicks by Bryan, including a dropkick that knocks him out to the floor. Bryan follows up with a suicide dive that connects.
Commercial
When we return, Cody has the edge and lands a couple strikes before putting Bryan in a single leg Boston crab. Bryan kicks Cody off and hits him with a punch, a chop, and an uppercut. Rhodes retaliates with an Irish whip and a few knees to the gut.
Cody takes Bryan down with a side Russian leg sweep and then puts him in a single leg Boston crab again. Bryan escapes and lands several punches before knocking Rhodes down. Bryan hits Rhodes with a chin breaker, a dropkick, and many punches. Cody battles back and gets Bryan caught up in the ropes and delivers a big kick.
Rhodes hits Bryan with an Alabama Slamma and gets a two count. Rhodes pushes Bryan into the corner and Bryan runs up the ropes and kicks Rhodes. Bryan goes for a modified version of the Lebell lock in the ropes but ends up falling to the floor. Bryan gets back into the ring quickly and hits Rhodes with a missile dropkick.
Bryan gets a two count and then hits Rhodes with another drop kick. Both men take the fight to the top rope and Rhodes pushes Bryan off and Bryan lands groin first on the top rope. Rhodes hits Bryan with a big kick (called Beautiful Disaster) for the win.
In the back, Teddy Long is on the phone. A referee enters and Teddy tells him that if either the Big Show or Mark Henry get physically involved, their PPV match Sunday will be cancelled. After the ref leaves, Kane enters.
Kane wants to thank Teddy for giving him a match with Orton tonight. Kane is sad because he's a monster that doesn't FEEL like a monster because he lost last week. He doesn't care for not feeling like a scary monster. Teddy tells Kane that if it makes him feel better, he's afraid of Kane. Kane does not appear satisfied.
Commercial
When we return, Jinder Mahal and the Great Khali are posing for some photo shoot. Jinder notices the photographer is paying more attention to Khali and gets angry. He threatens the photographer and tells him that Jinder controls Khali, and that only Jinder's face matters. Khali growls in a way that makes me think he agrees.
In the parking lot, Christian is staring at Randy Orton's customized trailer with admiration. Then he notices someone has VANDALIZED Randy's beautiful vehicle with the words "Orton sux, Christian uncrowned champ." Christian seems very upset and promises to find out who did this. He sounds a little bit like OJ Simpson promising to find the "real killer."
Commercial
Match #3: Sheamus versus Sin Cara. (Wade Barrett on commentary)
Sheamus pushes Sin Cara to the corner and then whips him to the ropes. Sin Cara hits Sheamus with a springboard headscissors takeover, a lot of kicks, a dropkick, and more kicks. Sheamus hits Sin Cara with a knee and a headbutt. Sheamus puts Sin Cara on the top turnbuckle and Sin Cara flies off it, taking Sheamus down with a flying arm drag.
Sheamus responds with a clothesline and a side slam backbreaker. Sin Cara tries to turn things around with an elbow and a hurricanrana, but Sheamus is able to knock Sin Cara down again. Sheamus ties Sin Cara up in the ropes and then pounds on his chest. Sheamus hits Sin Cara with a knee lift and applies a cravat.
Sin Cara tries to escape, but Sheamus keeps the advantage and re-applies the cravat. Sin Cara fights his way out only to be knocked down again. Sheamus goes for a big boot, Sin Cara ducks it, and Sheamus ends up falling to the floor outside the ring. After Sheamus re-enters the ring, Sin Cara dropkicks him and goes for a cover, getting a two count.
Sin Cara attempts a springboard maneuver but Sheamus catches him and drives him into the corner. Sheamus tosses Sin Cara across the ring and then sets him up for the Celtic Cross. Sin Cara slides out, rolls Sheamus up, and pins him for the win!
After the match, Wade Barrett runs into the ring and knocks Sheamus out with a brogue kick to the head, then hits him with his finishing move "Wasteland" (a forward fireman's carry slam)
In the Casino (they're at Mohegan Sun) Christian finds a wallet! He wonders who it belongs to, and discovers that it's Randy Orton's. Christian finds a thousand dollars in the wallet and decides to do him a favor: Christian is going to gamble Orton's money so that he can win him some more. He even suggests he save it for his daughter's college education, because she's probably too stupid to earn an academic scholarship. He bets it all on roulette and loses, then informs Randy that his luck has run out.
Commercial
When we return, Teddy Long is in the ring to introduce the Big Show and Mark Henry for their non-violent face-off. I think a non-violent ANYTHING is a bad idea for a wrestling show. Big Show comes out first, then Mark Henry.
Henry stops at the top of the ramp to avoid a violent confrontation. They discuss they're feud and decide they don't want to wait until Sunday and want to fight now. Teddy threatens to fine them and cancel their match if they do. Teddy tells them to "Let God sort it out this Sunday" I hope this doesn't mean he expects Henry and Big Show to pray over their differences.
Commercial
Match #4: Kelly Kelly versus Rosa Mendes with Alicia Fox in her corner.
This was a short match, and not terribly exciting. Kelly starts off in control but Rosa quickly reverses things, taking Kelly down and pulling back on her arms while driving her knee into her back. Kelly escapes, lands a kick, and takes Rosa to the mat where she repeatedly slams her face into the canvas.
Kelly hits Rosa with a neckbreaker and then grinds her ass into Rosa's face. Kelly tries for a bulldog but Rosa blocks it. Kelly tries for her finishing move (K2 leg drop, or a bulldog leg drop) and hits it for the win.
Johnny Curtis is back to complain about not making his debut yet, and to visually demonstrate another cliche. This time, he has a secret: his debut is coming soon. So now...the cat's out of the bag! He pulls a stuffed animal out of a bag, but it's not a cat, it's an elephant. He's angry because he was supposed to do "the elephant in the room" NEXT week. Maybe now he should do something more fun than "a barrel full of monkeys" next week instead. He could have a barrel filled with monkeys!
I know what you're thinking "but Dan, how will he get the monkeys to STAY in the barrel?" GLUE! Just line the inside of the barrel with Super glue. They would probably get in trouble with PETA, or possibly the WWF (World Wildlife Fund, of course) but who cares what they think, they hate wrestling anyway.
Commercial
When we return, we're shown highlights from previous Money in the Bank ladder matches to hype the upcoming PPV. Next, Christian is showing a clip from Randy Orton's movie role in "That's What I Am". Christian says "you know what you are Randy? A bad actor."
Commercial
Match #5: Justin Gabriel versus Heath Slater.
The two men lock up and jockey back and forth for position. Gabriel eventually gets the advantage with a headlock and follows up with a shoulder block. Slater responds with an arm drag that is reversed by Gabriel. Slater then lands several strikes before putting Gabriel in a chin lock.
Justin gets out with an elbow and then hits Slater with a spin kick. Slater lunges at Gabriel but misses and Gabriel climbs to the top rope. Slater knocks Gabriel off the top rope and goes for a moonsault but misses. Gabriel climbs back to the top and hits Slater with a 450 splash for the win!
Commercial
When we return we see a video package hyping CM Punk's last match in the WWE this Sunday versus John Cena, including excerpts from all the memorable promos Punk has cut lately.
Match #6: Randy Orton versus Kane.
The match starts with Kane taking a swing and a miss and Randy responding with several punches that landed. Kane fights back and lands a punch, a big boot, and a couple clotheslines. Kane hits Orton with a side slam and then goes to the top rope. Kane hits Orton with a flying clothesline as Christian walks to the top of the entrance ramp.
Kane sets up for a choke slam, but Orton fights out of it with a series of strikes and a couple of clotheslines. Orton then hits Kane with a scoop powerslam, a kick and then a rope hung DDT. Randy goes for an RKO but Kane pushes him off. Orton notices Christian standing at the top of the ramp and Kane takes advantage of the distraction with a clothesline.
Christian walks to the ringside area and Orton goes after him. Christian taunts Orton and splashes him with some water. Orton pursues Christian around the ring and is eventually counted out. Kane wins by countout. Orton chases Christian around the ring, and then into the ring. Kane attacks Orton and starts to beat him down in the corner.
Christian starts to help, until Kane turns on him. Christian backs off and suddenly Orton hits Kane with an RKO. Christian hits Orton with a spear and then mounts and pounds him. Christian stands over Orton and Kane, and then walks to the announce table to get a chair and the world title. Christian re-enters the ring and is kicked by Orton.
Christian drops the chair and Orton picks it up. Christian flees as Orton brandishes the chair and Kane gets back to his feet. Orton hits Kane with the chair 7 or 8 times as Christian looks on. The crowd screams "Randy" over and over again as the show comes to a close
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