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| Reported by Ernest I Aguilar |
The Smack is being laid Down for us tonight in Lafayette Louisiana. Edge is walking to the ring as Michael Cole tells us he can't be a tool because he's a two time Slammy Award winner. Edge is in the ring to talk about the death of Paul Bearer, which he caused.
Edge explains that this is the most bizarre thing that he's ever done, but he did it because Kane is evil. Kane has been torturing and abducting people for years, earlier this year he terrorized the entire locker room trying to find out who nearly killed his brother the Undertaker, when it was him all along. Edge was just giving Kane a taste of his own medicine. But still, Edge wonders if maybe he went too far.
So he asks us to watch a video he put together and judge for ourselves. We see the abduction, torture, and death of Paul Bearer shown to the tune of some wacky Benny Hill music. Murder is funny when it's done to Benny Hill music! Edge tells us that at the Tables Ladders and Chairs Pay Per View (TLC PPV) he will become a ten time world champion, in his favorite match: Tables, Ladders, and Chairs.
Next we're shown a video package of the various celebrity appearances by the Miz, including the Jimmy Fallon show. Miz shows Jimmy a picture of the Miz girl and her unquenchable hatred.
Commercial
Match #1: Kofi Kingston and Kaval versus Jack Swagger and Dolph Ziggler with Vickie Guerrero.
I think I heard Michael Cole say "Am I the only one concerned with the mental Kate of Stain?"; which was probably supposed to have been the "mental state of Kane". I think he is.
In the ring the first two participants are Jack Swagger and Kaval. Swagger pushes Kaval to the corner and hits him with a punch and a double axe handle to the back before choking him on the ropes. Kaval attempts a flying back springboard move but Swagger catches him and throws him to the corner. Kaval responds with a pair of flying kicks and an unsuccessful cover attempt.
Swagger lands a couple punches but Kaval catches Swagger in a hurricanrana and sends him out to the floor. Kofi comes into the ring beside Kaval and they hit suicide dives at the same time on opposite sides of the ring, taking out both Swagger and Ziggler.
Commercial
When we return, Swagger is applying pressure to the arm and neck of Kaval on the mat. After another beat down, Swagger tags in Ziggler; Ziggler hits Kaval with a leaping elbow drop. Dolph puts Kaval in a chin lock. Kaval eventually struggles to his feet and then stomps on Dolph's foot. Dolph beats Kaval down and tags in Swagger. Swagger hits an elbow drop and follows up with a back splash from the corner.
Swagger has control of Kaval on the mat and puts on a double underhook. Kaval fights his way out. Swagger hits Kaval with an overhead throw but Kaval lands on his feet. Swagger prevents Kaval from making a tag and drags him to the corner where he tags in Dolph. Dolph lands a couple strikes before making another quick tag as Swagger and Dolph continue to isolate Kaval.
Swagger goes for a gut wrench power bomb but Kaval rolls through it and knocks Swagger down, hitting him with a double stomp to the chest. Kaval finally makes the tag to Kofi and Kofi comes in on fire, flying into the ring with a very high flying clothesline. Kofi follows up with a drop kick, a clothesline and a double leg drop. Kofi sets up the Trouble In Paradise (TIP), but Dolph dodges it.
Kofi hits Dolph with a ranhei (called SOS by WWE) and Swagger comes in to make the save. Dolph tries to roll Kofi up but Kofi escapes and hits Dolph with the TIP for the win. After the match Swagger knocks out Dolph, prompting Vickie Guerrero to shriek hysterically for several minutes.
In the back, Jack Korpella is interviewing SmackDown's guest for tonight, Raw champion, the Miz. The Miz tells us he is the most must-see champion in WWE history, and this Sunday he will put Randy Orton through a table.
Commercial
When we return we are shown a segment called Str8 outta Brooklyn with JTG. JTG makes fun of the other WWE superstars and eventually, Justin Bieber. JTG claims that Justin hurt himself falling off a ladder as he tried to reach puberty.
In the back, Drew McIntyre is hitting on Kelly Kelly. Kelly doesn't seem interested at first; she claims to know what Drew is like based on how she sees him perform in the ring. Drew explains that's not who he really is. When he's in the ring he's a fierce competitor, fighting for survival, when he's outside the ring he's a different person, and he wants to see Kelly later tonight. Kelly's friend Kaitlyn says she can't because she has plans.
Next we are shown another Dashing Cody Rhodes segment. Cody is telling us we can do 3 things with our hair: ruin it with too much product, do nothing which is even worse, or we can make a Dashing choice. Cody then teaches us the proper way to blow dry our hair. I can't wait to blow my hair now. Maybe I'll blow myself during the commercial break.
Commercial
Match #2: Dashing Cody Rhodes versus Chris Masters.
Cody starts to poke and slap at Masters at the start of the match, and Masters responds by slapping Cody hard across the face. Masters lands several chops and punches and then slams Cody to the canvas with a military press slam. Masters hits a big chop and several punches to Rhodes.
Cody is pressed up against the corner and kicks his way out, then suddenly hits the Cross Rhodes for the win! After the break, it will be SmackDown's guest, WWE champion the Miz versus former World Champion Rey Mysterio.
Commercial
Match #3: Rey Mysterio versus the Miz.
Miz launches a kick that Mysterio dodges. They lock up in the middle of the ring and Rey takes Miz down with a single leg takedown then gets behind him. Miz gets to the ropes to break it up. They lock up again and Miz gets Mysterio in a headlock. Miz whips Rey to the ropes and then shoulder blocks him down. After another whip Rey barely leapfrogs Miz and Miz clotheslines Rey.
Miz stomps on Mysterio and then whips him to the ropes again. This time Rey lands a kick and a hurricanrana and follows up with many kicks in the corner. Rey lands a running drop kick to Miz in the corner then goes to the top rope. Miz knocks Rey off the ropes and then stomps him in the corner. When the ref wasn't watching, Alex Riley hits Rey with a cheap shot.
Miz drop kicks Rey into the steel post. Miz lands a couple more punches to the face then covers Rey for two. Miz puts Rey in a clothesline, Rey escapes and Miz clotheslines him. Miz puts Rey in a chin lock for a long time until Rey finally escapes. Rey lands a pair of kicks and then baseball slides under Miz, then comes up and hits him with a drop kick to the knee.
Miz falls into the ropes and Rey tries a 619 but Miz rolls out of the ring. Rey hits Miz with a running baseball slide dropkick, keeping him out of the ring. Rey then takes out Alex Riley with a seated senton, but is then knocked on his back by a big boot to the face from the Miz.
Commercial
When we return, Miz is working on Rey's arm on the mat. Rey kicks his way out and Miz drops him with a side slam. Miz picks Rey up again but this time Rey spins around and takes Miz over. Miz lands a punch but Rey knocks him down with a springboard cross body. Rey kicks Miz in the corner, Miz turns things around and beats Rey down in the corner, eventually landing his running, leaping clothesline in the corner. Miz goes to the top rope; Mysterio kicks him, then goes to the top himself and takes Miz down with a Frankensteiner.
Rey goes for a cover but gets only 2. Rey lands another kick and Miz goes down into the ropes. Rey goes for the 619 again, but this time Alberto Del Rio interferes and trips Rey up. Rey hits Alberto with a dropkick to the ropes, then turns his attention back to the Miz. Rey goes to the top rope to hit Miz with a big splash, but Miz had too much time to recover and gets his knees up.
Mysterio comes crashing down onto Miz's knees and Miz rolls him up and covers him for the win. After the match Alberto attacks Mysterio and pummels him on the canvas. Edge comes out to save Rey and Miz ends up attacking Edge. Teddy Long comes out and makes it a tag match with Rey and Edge on one team and Alberto and the Miz on the other.
Commercial
When we come back, team Laycool is walking to the ring to protest having to face Natalya and Beth Phoenix in a table match. They think a tables match is a barbaric match for men, and that's why Beth and Natalya wanted it, because they are manly. They ask who really wants to see them put through a table, and most of the crowd cheers at the thought of either or both members of LayCool getting put through a table.
Natalya and Beth come to the ring with a table wrapped up for Christmas. They take off the wrapping and the table has been painted with caricatures of Michelle and Layla. It's reasonably funny, they both have big mouths and Michelle looks boney. Laycool is not amused and a brawl ensues. Natalya and Beth get the better of it and are about to put Layla through the table with a double suplex. Michelle makes the save with a kick to the gut and the two of them run away.
Up next, Santino and Kozlov will defend their tag team titles. Commercial
Match #4: Santino and Kozlov versus Chavo Guerrero and Tyler Reks.
Santino and Tyler are in first. Santino starts things off with a headlock, and then tries a shoulder block that has no effect and tags Kozlov in. Tyler hits Kozlov with a kick and a body slam. Kozlov responds with several headbutts to the chest. Tyler lands a couple kicks and then Chavo tags himself in and dropkicks Kozlov. Kozlov scoop slams Chavo then pushes him to the corner and tags Santino. Santino lands a punch and a hip toss then follows up with a head butt.
Chavo lands several punches and tags in Tyler. Tyler beats Santino down, hits him with a clothesline and goes for a cover but gets only two. Tyler tags in Chavo who lands a kick to Santino. Chavo goes for a body slam but it's blocked by Santino. Santino goes to make a tag but Chavo tries to stop him. Santino is just barely able to reach Kozlov and tags him in.
Kozlov comes in and starts throwing Chavo from one end of the ring to the other. Chavo lands a boot to the face and goes to the top rope; Kozlov rams Chavo with his head when he comes off the ropes. Kozlov knocks Tyler off the ring apron and tags in Santino. Santino hits Chavo with the cobra for the win!
Commercial
When we return we see a video package showcasing the power of Ezekiel Jackson, who will be coming to SmackDown next week. We're shown a recap of the events from this past Raw. Then we see Alberto Del Rio make his way to the ring for the last match of the night.
Commercial
When we come back, the rest of the participants make their way to the ring.
Match #5: Edge and Rey Mysterio versus the Miz and Alberto Del Rio.
Miz and Edge start the match of and Edge puts Miz in a head lock. After and Irish whip, Edge knocks Miz down with a shoulder block then puts him back in a headlock. Miz gets to his feet and pushes Edge to the corner, landing some kicks and punches before tagging in Alberto. Alberto lands a punch and a body slam before putting Edge in a chin lock. Alberto is grinding his knees and elbows into Edge's back, and then pulls him to the corner and tags in Miz. Miz lands a punch and throws Edge to the ropes with an Irish Whip.
Edge comes off the ropes and knocks Miz down with an elbow and tags in Rey, dropping him down onto Miz. Rey lands several punches, and then charges him. Miz dodges and Rey's shoulder goes into the steel post. Miz suplexes Rey and tags in Alberto. Alberto beats on Rey with leg kicks and knees and then applies a chin lock. Rey fights his way out, Alberto beats him down again.
Alberto slides Rey on his belly out of the ring onto the floor, where he stomps on him some more. Alberto rolls Rey back in and tags the Miz. Miz lands a kick, and then pushes Rey's head and neck onto the bottom rope with his boot. Rey lands a pair of kicks, but Miz trips Rey up, mounts him and pounds him while taunting Edge. Miz slams Rey to the corner and tags in Alberto. Alberto whips Rey hard into the corner, but is then hit with an elbow from Rey when he tries to follow up.
Rey lands a kick to the head and crawls over to Edge to make the tag as Alberto tags in the Miz. Edge floors Miz three times, with a shoulder block, a forearm smash, and a flapjack. Edge sets up for a spear but is distracted by Alberto. Edge recovers and hits Miz with an Impaler DDT, then covers him for two. In the back, several people have been attacked, and it looks like Kane is the one who attacked them. It also looks like Kane is headed towards the ring to confront Edge.
Back in the ring, Rey hits Miz with the 619 and Edge hits him with the spear, but before anyone can make a cover, Kane comes out and the match is thrown out. Edge and Kane immediately go after each other, with each man getting the other grounded and pounded once.
The entire SmackDown locker room empties out, with everyone coming out to break up the fight. Eventually Kane breaks free and choke slams one of the wrestlers holding him back, and Edge spears him when he does. Edge is on top of Kane and beating him as the Superstars from the back try to restore order.
Edge explains that this is the most bizarre thing that he's ever done, but he did it because Kane is evil. Kane has been torturing and abducting people for years, earlier this year he terrorized the entire locker room trying to find out who nearly killed his brother the Undertaker, when it was him all along. Edge was just giving Kane a taste of his own medicine. But still, Edge wonders if maybe he went too far.
So he asks us to watch a video he put together and judge for ourselves. We see the abduction, torture, and death of Paul Bearer shown to the tune of some wacky Benny Hill music. Murder is funny when it's done to Benny Hill music! Edge tells us that at the Tables Ladders and Chairs Pay Per View (TLC PPV) he will become a ten time world champion, in his favorite match: Tables, Ladders, and Chairs.
Next we're shown a video package of the various celebrity appearances by the Miz, including the Jimmy Fallon show. Miz shows Jimmy a picture of the Miz girl and her unquenchable hatred.
Commercial
Match #1: Kofi Kingston and Kaval versus Jack Swagger and Dolph Ziggler with Vickie Guerrero.
I think I heard Michael Cole say "Am I the only one concerned with the mental Kate of Stain?"; which was probably supposed to have been the "mental state of Kane". I think he is.
In the ring the first two participants are Jack Swagger and Kaval. Swagger pushes Kaval to the corner and hits him with a punch and a double axe handle to the back before choking him on the ropes. Kaval attempts a flying back springboard move but Swagger catches him and throws him to the corner. Kaval responds with a pair of flying kicks and an unsuccessful cover attempt.
Swagger lands a couple punches but Kaval catches Swagger in a hurricanrana and sends him out to the floor. Kofi comes into the ring beside Kaval and they hit suicide dives at the same time on opposite sides of the ring, taking out both Swagger and Ziggler.
Commercial
When we return, Swagger is applying pressure to the arm and neck of Kaval on the mat. After another beat down, Swagger tags in Ziggler; Ziggler hits Kaval with a leaping elbow drop. Dolph puts Kaval in a chin lock. Kaval eventually struggles to his feet and then stomps on Dolph's foot. Dolph beats Kaval down and tags in Swagger. Swagger hits an elbow drop and follows up with a back splash from the corner.
Swagger has control of Kaval on the mat and puts on a double underhook. Kaval fights his way out. Swagger hits Kaval with an overhead throw but Kaval lands on his feet. Swagger prevents Kaval from making a tag and drags him to the corner where he tags in Dolph. Dolph lands a couple strikes before making another quick tag as Swagger and Dolph continue to isolate Kaval.
Swagger goes for a gut wrench power bomb but Kaval rolls through it and knocks Swagger down, hitting him with a double stomp to the chest. Kaval finally makes the tag to Kofi and Kofi comes in on fire, flying into the ring with a very high flying clothesline. Kofi follows up with a drop kick, a clothesline and a double leg drop. Kofi sets up the Trouble In Paradise (TIP), but Dolph dodges it.
Kofi hits Dolph with a ranhei (called SOS by WWE) and Swagger comes in to make the save. Dolph tries to roll Kofi up but Kofi escapes and hits Dolph with the TIP for the win. After the match Swagger knocks out Dolph, prompting Vickie Guerrero to shriek hysterically for several minutes.
In the back, Jack Korpella is interviewing SmackDown's guest for tonight, Raw champion, the Miz. The Miz tells us he is the most must-see champion in WWE history, and this Sunday he will put Randy Orton through a table.
Commercial
When we return we are shown a segment called Str8 outta Brooklyn with JTG. JTG makes fun of the other WWE superstars and eventually, Justin Bieber. JTG claims that Justin hurt himself falling off a ladder as he tried to reach puberty.
In the back, Drew McIntyre is hitting on Kelly Kelly. Kelly doesn't seem interested at first; she claims to know what Drew is like based on how she sees him perform in the ring. Drew explains that's not who he really is. When he's in the ring he's a fierce competitor, fighting for survival, when he's outside the ring he's a different person, and he wants to see Kelly later tonight. Kelly's friend Kaitlyn says she can't because she has plans.
Next we are shown another Dashing Cody Rhodes segment. Cody is telling us we can do 3 things with our hair: ruin it with too much product, do nothing which is even worse, or we can make a Dashing choice. Cody then teaches us the proper way to blow dry our hair. I can't wait to blow my hair now. Maybe I'll blow myself during the commercial break.
Commercial
Match #2: Dashing Cody Rhodes versus Chris Masters.
Cody starts to poke and slap at Masters at the start of the match, and Masters responds by slapping Cody hard across the face. Masters lands several chops and punches and then slams Cody to the canvas with a military press slam. Masters hits a big chop and several punches to Rhodes.
Cody is pressed up against the corner and kicks his way out, then suddenly hits the Cross Rhodes for the win! After the break, it will be SmackDown's guest, WWE champion the Miz versus former World Champion Rey Mysterio.
Commercial
Match #3: Rey Mysterio versus the Miz.
Miz launches a kick that Mysterio dodges. They lock up in the middle of the ring and Rey takes Miz down with a single leg takedown then gets behind him. Miz gets to the ropes to break it up. They lock up again and Miz gets Mysterio in a headlock. Miz whips Rey to the ropes and then shoulder blocks him down. After another whip Rey barely leapfrogs Miz and Miz clotheslines Rey.
Miz stomps on Mysterio and then whips him to the ropes again. This time Rey lands a kick and a hurricanrana and follows up with many kicks in the corner. Rey lands a running drop kick to Miz in the corner then goes to the top rope. Miz knocks Rey off the ropes and then stomps him in the corner. When the ref wasn't watching, Alex Riley hits Rey with a cheap shot.
Miz drop kicks Rey into the steel post. Miz lands a couple more punches to the face then covers Rey for two. Miz puts Rey in a clothesline, Rey escapes and Miz clotheslines him. Miz puts Rey in a chin lock for a long time until Rey finally escapes. Rey lands a pair of kicks and then baseball slides under Miz, then comes up and hits him with a drop kick to the knee.
Miz falls into the ropes and Rey tries a 619 but Miz rolls out of the ring. Rey hits Miz with a running baseball slide dropkick, keeping him out of the ring. Rey then takes out Alex Riley with a seated senton, but is then knocked on his back by a big boot to the face from the Miz.
Commercial
When we return, Miz is working on Rey's arm on the mat. Rey kicks his way out and Miz drops him with a side slam. Miz picks Rey up again but this time Rey spins around and takes Miz over. Miz lands a punch but Rey knocks him down with a springboard cross body. Rey kicks Miz in the corner, Miz turns things around and beats Rey down in the corner, eventually landing his running, leaping clothesline in the corner. Miz goes to the top rope; Mysterio kicks him, then goes to the top himself and takes Miz down with a Frankensteiner.
Rey goes for a cover but gets only 2. Rey lands another kick and Miz goes down into the ropes. Rey goes for the 619 again, but this time Alberto Del Rio interferes and trips Rey up. Rey hits Alberto with a dropkick to the ropes, then turns his attention back to the Miz. Rey goes to the top rope to hit Miz with a big splash, but Miz had too much time to recover and gets his knees up.
Mysterio comes crashing down onto Miz's knees and Miz rolls him up and covers him for the win. After the match Alberto attacks Mysterio and pummels him on the canvas. Edge comes out to save Rey and Miz ends up attacking Edge. Teddy Long comes out and makes it a tag match with Rey and Edge on one team and Alberto and the Miz on the other.
Commercial
When we come back, team Laycool is walking to the ring to protest having to face Natalya and Beth Phoenix in a table match. They think a tables match is a barbaric match for men, and that's why Beth and Natalya wanted it, because they are manly. They ask who really wants to see them put through a table, and most of the crowd cheers at the thought of either or both members of LayCool getting put through a table.
Natalya and Beth come to the ring with a table wrapped up for Christmas. They take off the wrapping and the table has been painted with caricatures of Michelle and Layla. It's reasonably funny, they both have big mouths and Michelle looks boney. Laycool is not amused and a brawl ensues. Natalya and Beth get the better of it and are about to put Layla through the table with a double suplex. Michelle makes the save with a kick to the gut and the two of them run away.
Up next, Santino and Kozlov will defend their tag team titles. Commercial
Match #4: Santino and Kozlov versus Chavo Guerrero and Tyler Reks.
Santino and Tyler are in first. Santino starts things off with a headlock, and then tries a shoulder block that has no effect and tags Kozlov in. Tyler hits Kozlov with a kick and a body slam. Kozlov responds with several headbutts to the chest. Tyler lands a couple kicks and then Chavo tags himself in and dropkicks Kozlov. Kozlov scoop slams Chavo then pushes him to the corner and tags Santino. Santino lands a punch and a hip toss then follows up with a head butt.
Chavo lands several punches and tags in Tyler. Tyler beats Santino down, hits him with a clothesline and goes for a cover but gets only two. Tyler tags in Chavo who lands a kick to Santino. Chavo goes for a body slam but it's blocked by Santino. Santino goes to make a tag but Chavo tries to stop him. Santino is just barely able to reach Kozlov and tags him in.
Kozlov comes in and starts throwing Chavo from one end of the ring to the other. Chavo lands a boot to the face and goes to the top rope; Kozlov rams Chavo with his head when he comes off the ropes. Kozlov knocks Tyler off the ring apron and tags in Santino. Santino hits Chavo with the cobra for the win!
Commercial
When we return we see a video package showcasing the power of Ezekiel Jackson, who will be coming to SmackDown next week. We're shown a recap of the events from this past Raw. Then we see Alberto Del Rio make his way to the ring for the last match of the night.
Commercial
When we come back, the rest of the participants make their way to the ring.
Match #5: Edge and Rey Mysterio versus the Miz and Alberto Del Rio.
Miz and Edge start the match of and Edge puts Miz in a head lock. After and Irish whip, Edge knocks Miz down with a shoulder block then puts him back in a headlock. Miz gets to his feet and pushes Edge to the corner, landing some kicks and punches before tagging in Alberto. Alberto lands a punch and a body slam before putting Edge in a chin lock. Alberto is grinding his knees and elbows into Edge's back, and then pulls him to the corner and tags in Miz. Miz lands a punch and throws Edge to the ropes with an Irish Whip.
Edge comes off the ropes and knocks Miz down with an elbow and tags in Rey, dropping him down onto Miz. Rey lands several punches, and then charges him. Miz dodges and Rey's shoulder goes into the steel post. Miz suplexes Rey and tags in Alberto. Alberto beats on Rey with leg kicks and knees and then applies a chin lock. Rey fights his way out, Alberto beats him down again.
Alberto slides Rey on his belly out of the ring onto the floor, where he stomps on him some more. Alberto rolls Rey back in and tags the Miz. Miz lands a kick, and then pushes Rey's head and neck onto the bottom rope with his boot. Rey lands a pair of kicks, but Miz trips Rey up, mounts him and pounds him while taunting Edge. Miz slams Rey to the corner and tags in Alberto. Alberto whips Rey hard into the corner, but is then hit with an elbow from Rey when he tries to follow up.
Rey lands a kick to the head and crawls over to Edge to make the tag as Alberto tags in the Miz. Edge floors Miz three times, with a shoulder block, a forearm smash, and a flapjack. Edge sets up for a spear but is distracted by Alberto. Edge recovers and hits Miz with an Impaler DDT, then covers him for two. In the back, several people have been attacked, and it looks like Kane is the one who attacked them. It also looks like Kane is headed towards the ring to confront Edge.
Back in the ring, Rey hits Miz with the 619 and Edge hits him with the spear, but before anyone can make a cover, Kane comes out and the match is thrown out. Edge and Kane immediately go after each other, with each man getting the other grounded and pounded once.
The entire SmackDown locker room empties out, with everyone coming out to break up the fight. Eventually Kane breaks free and choke slams one of the wrestlers holding him back, and Edge spears him when he does. Edge is on top of Kane and beating him as the Superstars from the back try to restore order.
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