 |
| Reported by Earnest I Aguilar |
The Smack is being laid Down for us tonight in Calgary, Alberta Canada. The show opens with a recap of Mark Henry's victory in last week's #1 contender's battle royal.
The first person to the ring tonight is Canada's own Bret eh Hit Man Hart. Bret tells us that Teddy Long will not be here tonight, so the COO (HHH) has decided to make Bret the guest General Manager for tonight. Bret announces that next Tuesday SmackDown will be aired live, and the main event will be Mark Henry versus Randy Orton for the World Title.
Christian comes out to interrupt, claiming that as the former champion, he is entitled to an immediate rematch. Bret tells Christian that he should have listened to his friend Edge and stop whining so much. Bret says that Christian has become an embarrassment to his friends, family, the WWE universe, and to Canada.
Christian replies that both Bret and Edge should just accept the fact that their careers are over, and that they are both jealous of Christian because he's the only relevant Canadian left in wrestling. Christian also produces a legal document, prepared by his legal team, which declares no one may face Orton for the championship until Christian gets his rematch.
Bret looks over the paper and agrees that it's in order and Christian will get his match next week. Bret then adds that he's going to make the match a steel cage match, so that there will be no excuses. Christian seems unhappy about that but is interrupted by Mark Henry. Christian backs off as Henry confronts Hart. Henry tells Bret that he earned the right to be #1 contender, and if he doesn't face the winner of next week's steel cage match, someone is going to get hurt.
Sheamus comes out next and interrupts Mark Henry. Sheamus tell Mark Henry that he reminds him of a big, ugly, black bull that his uncle had to castrate. Sheamus knocks Henry out of the ring and Henry backs off as we break for commercial.
When we return, it's time for our first match: Christian versus Daniel Bryan.
The two men lock up and Christian gets behind Bryan. Christian whips Bryan to the ropes and hits him with a kick and a slap. Christian whips Bryan again and then monkey flips him into the corner. Bryan responds with a dragon screw leg whip and follows up with a drop kick in the corner. Bryan goes for a cover and Christian kicks out.
Christian lands a punch and then jumps to the floor as Bryan falls to the ropes. Christian tries to take a swing at Bryan but Bryan hits Christian first and then kicks him to the floor. Bryan runs to the ropes and then hits Christian with a suicide dive.
Bryan rolls Christian back into the ring and wraps his arms and legs up in a surfboard. Christian escapes and whips Bryan to the ropes. Christian lands a kick that drops Bryan and then stomps on him. Bryan gets to his feet and lands several stiff kicks. Bryan whips Christian into the ropes, and then Christian retaliates with a pendulum kick. Christian knocks Bryan to the floor.
Commercial
When we return, Christian is in control and wrenching the head and neck of Bryan. Bryan fights his way out with an elbow, and Christian knocks Bryan down with an elbow off his own. Christian steps on Bryan's face, but Bryan gets to his feet and hits Christian with a punch and a pair of European uppercuts. Bryan goes to the top rope but Christian cuts him off. Bryan pushes Christian to the mat and then hits him with a missile dropkick.
Bryan lands several European uppercuts and then takes Christian down with a clothesline. Bryan lands several stiff kicks to the chest and Christian makes his way to the corner. Christian goes for a pendulum kick but Bryan catches it and hits Christian with more kicks. Bryan hits Christian with a knee drop from the top rope and gets a two count. Christian gets to his feet, trips Bryan into the ropes, and then stands on his back.
Christian jumps to the floor and punches up at Bryan who is still caught in the ropes. Christian climbs to the top turnbuckle and hits Bryan with a flying back elbow. Christian tries to spear Bryan but gets hit with a boot to the head instead. Bryan goes to the top rope and slips off. Christian goes to the top and hits Bryan with a flying sunset flip.
Bryan rolls through the move and hits Christian with a big kick to the head. The two men fight back and forth and Christian goes to the top again. Bryan cuts him off and tries a Frankensteiner, but Christian holds onto the top rope and Bryan falls to the mat. Christian comes off the top rope and hits Bryan with a tornado DDT. Christian tries to hit Bryan with the Unprettier, but Bryan blocks it and gets Christian in the Lebell lock.
Christian makes it to the ropes. Bryan goes for a dropkick in the corner but Christian gets out of the way. Bryan falls hard to the mat and Christian hits him with the Unprettier for the win.
After the match, Aksana tells us to "turn me on next week, with Super SmackDown live on Tuesday."
Commercial
Match #2: Wade Barrett versus some random nobody.
Wade grabs a mic and says he's insulted. He says he's made a lot of impact the last year, and ordered attacks on everyone from John Cena to the GM to WWE legends, and he refuses to wrestle this "dreg." Wade walks away and the match never happens. Michael Cole and Booker T both seem to agree with this move.
Commercial
Match #2: Sin Cara versus Heath Slater.
Heath starts off strong, beating Sin Cara down and stomping him on the mat. Slater bodyslams Sin Cara and then goes for a knee drop but Sin Cara dodges it. Sin Cara takes Slater down and then hits him with a drop kick. Sin Cara goes to the top and hit Slater with a springboard head butt.
Heath lands a couple punches but Sin Cara responds by back dropping Slater to the ring apron and then kicking him to the floor. Sin Cara goes to the top turnbuckle and hits Slater with a flying crossbody all the way to the floor.
Sin Cara rolls Slater into the ring, hits him with a springboard senton and in one motion rolls through to the opposite side of the ring and springs back onto Slater with a moonsault for the win.
Commercial
Match #3: Randy Orton versus Ted DiBiase with Cody Rhodes in his corner.
Cody says that while Orton's title says he's the best at what he does, what Cody does is perform miracles. Cody claims to be resurrecting the Legacy of the Intercontinental title and resurrecting Ted DiBiase's career. Cody goes on to predict a miraculous victory for Ted.
The match begins with the two men locking up. Orton gets a hammerlock and then turns it into a headlock. Ted gets out of the headlock and gets Orton's head in a leg scissors. Randy gets out, and then Ted follows up with a kick and a headlock; Randy responds with a punch and an Irish whip.
Ted knocks Orton down and puts him in a headlock. Randy escapes and hits DiBiase with a drop kick. The two men exchange head locks (it seems like they are both relying heavily on headlocks this match) and end up in the corner. Ted refuses to give a clean break and hits Orton with a kick.
Orton responds with a clothesline and stomps on the head and stomach of DiBiase. Ted lands an elbow and Orton responds with a punch. DiBiase knocks Orton down with a clothesline and then mounts and pounds Orton. DiBiase hits Orton with a boot to the face and gets a two count. DiBiase goes for a standing drop kick, but Orton catches DiBiase's legs and monkey flips him. Orton hits a clothesline and a Thesz press.
Orton tries to hit Ted with a rope-hung DDT but Cody Rhodes jumps to the ring apron to distract Orton. Orton goes after Cody outside the ring. DiBiase takes advantage of the distraction and lands a drop kick.
Commercial
When we return, DiBiase has Orton in a chin lock. DiBiase hits him with a clothesline and then a drop kick. Ted goes to the top turnbuckle and the two men exchange punches, with Orton getting the better of the exchange. Orton hits DiBiase with a headbutt then superplexes him off the top rope.
Randy lands a boot to the face of DiBiase and then whips him to the ropes. Orton knocks DiBiase down twice and then hits him with a scoop powerslam. Ted lands an elbow and tries to roll Orton up. Orton kicks out and then Ted hits him with a spinebuster and DiBiase gets another near fall.
DiBiase tries to get Orton with "Dream street", but Orton gets out, lands a European uppercut, and then a rope hung DDT. Orton sets up for the RKO but Ted blocks it and puts on Dream Street. Orton gets free and whips DiBiase to the ropes. DiBiase runs the ropes at Orton and Orton hits him with the RKO for the win.
After the match, Cody Rhodes helps DiBiase to his feet, and then knocks him out with "CrossRhodes." Cody seems disappointed that Ted did not make his miracle victory prediction come true. Rhodes leaves the ring to get a paper bag, and then puts it on DiBiase's unconscious head.
Match #4: Kelly Kelly versus Tamina.
Tamina pushes Kelly to the corner, and Kelly responds with a series of forearms. Kelly hits Tamina with a Thesz press and then mounts and pounds her. Kelly hits Tamina with a tilt a whirl headscissors and then traps her in the ropes with a hanging headscissors. Tamina snaps Kelly's neck on the top rope and then body slams her.
Kelly takes Tamina to the mat and then repeatedly slams her face to the canvas. Kelly hits Tamina with a 1 handed bulldog and then a handspring back elbow. Kelly makes a big show of grinding her ass in Tamina's face, causing millions of horny teen aged boys to touch themselves.
Kelly goes to the top rope and hits Tamina with a flying cross body, but Tamina catches her. Kelly gets free and hits Tamina with a leg drop for the win.
After the match, Matt Striker asks Jinder Mahal why his plans to have Khali protect him during the recent #1 contender's battle royal failed. Jinder replied that it is because Khali didn't follow orders, but he has been re-educated. Jinder says Khali's next orders are to dominate Ezekiel Jackson tonight.
Commercial
Match #5: Khali versus Ezekiel Jackson.
The two men lock up and Khali pushes Jackson down. Jackson lands a punch and Khali knocks him down again. Khali hits Jackson with a big chop to the chest in the corner and then applies a nerve pinch to his shoulder. Jackson fights out with a series of elbows, and then charges into Khali in the corner. Khali drops Jackson with a boot to the face and then puts him in the dreaded Khali vice grip.
Jackson looks like he's fading, but eventually powers his way out. Khali gets the vice grip back on and Jackson gets to the ropes. Jinder jumps up to the ring apron to hit Jackson with a cheap shot; at the same time, Khali tries to hit Jackson with a big chop but misses and takes out Jinder instead. Jackson puts Khali up on his shoulders and gets him in the torture rack.
Jackson had the much larger Khali up on his shoulders, even bouncing him up and down a little to increase the pressure. It was an impressive feat of strength; not quite as impressive as John Cena getting the Big Show up for an Attitude Adjustment and walking around the ring with him on his shoulders, but still pretty impressive.
Commercial
Match #6: Mark Henry versus Sheamus.
The two men lock up and Henry pushes Sheamus to the floor. They lock up again and Henry knocks him down again. They lock up a third time and this time Sheamus gets behind Henry and starts pounding on his back. Henry gives Sheamus an Irish whip (seems appropriate somehow) and then Sheamus hits Henry with a big boot to the face.
Sheamus beats Henry down and stomps on him in the corner. Sheamus hits Henry with a kick to the head and Henry responds with a big boot to the face. Henry slams Sheamus in the corner and then hits him with a backbreaker. Henry whips Sheamus hard into the corner and then steps on him. Sheamus gets to his knees and lands several punches.
Henry knocks Sheamus back down and then steps on his hand. Henry gets Sheamus up in a bear hug, but Sheamus fights out of it by landing a pair of headbutts. Sheamus climbs to the top rope and Henry grabs him and hoists him up high for a military press. Sheamus wiggles free and hits Henry with a DDT.
Sheamus whips Henry to the ropes and hits him with a double fisted shot to the head, then hits him with three more double fisted blows. The fourth shot knocks Henry down. Sheamus gets Henry trapped in the ropes and pounds on his chest repeatedly. Sheamus goes to the edge of the ring apron and hits Henry with a knee lift to the face and a headbutt.
Sheamus climbs to the top and hits Henry with a flying shoulder block. Henry rolls out to the floor and then pulls Sheamus out after him, dropping him hard to the ground. Henry slams Sheamus into the security barrier and then tries to slam him through the announce table but Sheamus breaks free. Sheamus hits Henry with a Brogue kick that sends him over the table and onto the floor. Sheamus throws a chair onto Henry and then re enters the ring. The ref counts to ten and Sheamus beats Mark Henry by countout.
After the match, Henry tips the announce table over in anger, and then goes back after Sheamus in the ring. They exchange a couple punches and Sheamus prevents Henry from getting back into the ring. Sheamus climbs to the top and leaps out at Henry, but Henry catches him and slams him into the edge of the ring apron.
Sheamus gets to his feet and pushes Henry into the steel steps and steel ring post. Sheamus picks up the steel steps and tries to hit Henry with them but misses. Mark Henry clotheslines Sheamus and then hits him with the World's Strongest Slam onto the steel steps. Henry stands over the unconscious Sheamus as SmackDown comes to a close.
The first person to the ring tonight is Canada's own Bret eh Hit Man Hart. Bret tells us that Teddy Long will not be here tonight, so the COO (HHH) has decided to make Bret the guest General Manager for tonight. Bret announces that next Tuesday SmackDown will be aired live, and the main event will be Mark Henry versus Randy Orton for the World Title.
Christian comes out to interrupt, claiming that as the former champion, he is entitled to an immediate rematch. Bret tells Christian that he should have listened to his friend Edge and stop whining so much. Bret says that Christian has become an embarrassment to his friends, family, the WWE universe, and to Canada.
Christian replies that both Bret and Edge should just accept the fact that their careers are over, and that they are both jealous of Christian because he's the only relevant Canadian left in wrestling. Christian also produces a legal document, prepared by his legal team, which declares no one may face Orton for the championship until Christian gets his rematch.
Bret looks over the paper and agrees that it's in order and Christian will get his match next week. Bret then adds that he's going to make the match a steel cage match, so that there will be no excuses. Christian seems unhappy about that but is interrupted by Mark Henry. Christian backs off as Henry confronts Hart. Henry tells Bret that he earned the right to be #1 contender, and if he doesn't face the winner of next week's steel cage match, someone is going to get hurt.
Sheamus comes out next and interrupts Mark Henry. Sheamus tell Mark Henry that he reminds him of a big, ugly, black bull that his uncle had to castrate. Sheamus knocks Henry out of the ring and Henry backs off as we break for commercial.
When we return, it's time for our first match: Christian versus Daniel Bryan.
The two men lock up and Christian gets behind Bryan. Christian whips Bryan to the ropes and hits him with a kick and a slap. Christian whips Bryan again and then monkey flips him into the corner. Bryan responds with a dragon screw leg whip and follows up with a drop kick in the corner. Bryan goes for a cover and Christian kicks out.
Christian lands a punch and then jumps to the floor as Bryan falls to the ropes. Christian tries to take a swing at Bryan but Bryan hits Christian first and then kicks him to the floor. Bryan runs to the ropes and then hits Christian with a suicide dive.
Bryan rolls Christian back into the ring and wraps his arms and legs up in a surfboard. Christian escapes and whips Bryan to the ropes. Christian lands a kick that drops Bryan and then stomps on him. Bryan gets to his feet and lands several stiff kicks. Bryan whips Christian into the ropes, and then Christian retaliates with a pendulum kick. Christian knocks Bryan to the floor.
Commercial
When we return, Christian is in control and wrenching the head and neck of Bryan. Bryan fights his way out with an elbow, and Christian knocks Bryan down with an elbow off his own. Christian steps on Bryan's face, but Bryan gets to his feet and hits Christian with a punch and a pair of European uppercuts. Bryan goes to the top rope but Christian cuts him off. Bryan pushes Christian to the mat and then hits him with a missile dropkick.
Bryan lands several European uppercuts and then takes Christian down with a clothesline. Bryan lands several stiff kicks to the chest and Christian makes his way to the corner. Christian goes for a pendulum kick but Bryan catches it and hits Christian with more kicks. Bryan hits Christian with a knee drop from the top rope and gets a two count. Christian gets to his feet, trips Bryan into the ropes, and then stands on his back.
Christian jumps to the floor and punches up at Bryan who is still caught in the ropes. Christian climbs to the top turnbuckle and hits Bryan with a flying back elbow. Christian tries to spear Bryan but gets hit with a boot to the head instead. Bryan goes to the top rope and slips off. Christian goes to the top and hits Bryan with a flying sunset flip.
Bryan rolls through the move and hits Christian with a big kick to the head. The two men fight back and forth and Christian goes to the top again. Bryan cuts him off and tries a Frankensteiner, but Christian holds onto the top rope and Bryan falls to the mat. Christian comes off the top rope and hits Bryan with a tornado DDT. Christian tries to hit Bryan with the Unprettier, but Bryan blocks it and gets Christian in the Lebell lock.
Christian makes it to the ropes. Bryan goes for a dropkick in the corner but Christian gets out of the way. Bryan falls hard to the mat and Christian hits him with the Unprettier for the win.
After the match, Aksana tells us to "turn me on next week, with Super SmackDown live on Tuesday."
Commercial
Match #2: Wade Barrett versus some random nobody.
Wade grabs a mic and says he's insulted. He says he's made a lot of impact the last year, and ordered attacks on everyone from John Cena to the GM to WWE legends, and he refuses to wrestle this "dreg." Wade walks away and the match never happens. Michael Cole and Booker T both seem to agree with this move.
Commercial
Match #2: Sin Cara versus Heath Slater.
Heath starts off strong, beating Sin Cara down and stomping him on the mat. Slater bodyslams Sin Cara and then goes for a knee drop but Sin Cara dodges it. Sin Cara takes Slater down and then hits him with a drop kick. Sin Cara goes to the top and hit Slater with a springboard head butt.
Heath lands a couple punches but Sin Cara responds by back dropping Slater to the ring apron and then kicking him to the floor. Sin Cara goes to the top turnbuckle and hits Slater with a flying crossbody all the way to the floor.
Sin Cara rolls Slater into the ring, hits him with a springboard senton and in one motion rolls through to the opposite side of the ring and springs back onto Slater with a moonsault for the win.
Commercial
Match #3: Randy Orton versus Ted DiBiase with Cody Rhodes in his corner.
Cody says that while Orton's title says he's the best at what he does, what Cody does is perform miracles. Cody claims to be resurrecting the Legacy of the Intercontinental title and resurrecting Ted DiBiase's career. Cody goes on to predict a miraculous victory for Ted.
The match begins with the two men locking up. Orton gets a hammerlock and then turns it into a headlock. Ted gets out of the headlock and gets Orton's head in a leg scissors. Randy gets out, and then Ted follows up with a kick and a headlock; Randy responds with a punch and an Irish whip.
Ted knocks Orton down and puts him in a headlock. Randy escapes and hits DiBiase with a drop kick. The two men exchange head locks (it seems like they are both relying heavily on headlocks this match) and end up in the corner. Ted refuses to give a clean break and hits Orton with a kick.
Orton responds with a clothesline and stomps on the head and stomach of DiBiase. Ted lands an elbow and Orton responds with a punch. DiBiase knocks Orton down with a clothesline and then mounts and pounds Orton. DiBiase hits Orton with a boot to the face and gets a two count. DiBiase goes for a standing drop kick, but Orton catches DiBiase's legs and monkey flips him. Orton hits a clothesline and a Thesz press.
Orton tries to hit Ted with a rope-hung DDT but Cody Rhodes jumps to the ring apron to distract Orton. Orton goes after Cody outside the ring. DiBiase takes advantage of the distraction and lands a drop kick.
Commercial
When we return, DiBiase has Orton in a chin lock. DiBiase hits him with a clothesline and then a drop kick. Ted goes to the top turnbuckle and the two men exchange punches, with Orton getting the better of the exchange. Orton hits DiBiase with a headbutt then superplexes him off the top rope.
Randy lands a boot to the face of DiBiase and then whips him to the ropes. Orton knocks DiBiase down twice and then hits him with a scoop powerslam. Ted lands an elbow and tries to roll Orton up. Orton kicks out and then Ted hits him with a spinebuster and DiBiase gets another near fall.
DiBiase tries to get Orton with "Dream street", but Orton gets out, lands a European uppercut, and then a rope hung DDT. Orton sets up for the RKO but Ted blocks it and puts on Dream Street. Orton gets free and whips DiBiase to the ropes. DiBiase runs the ropes at Orton and Orton hits him with the RKO for the win.
After the match, Cody Rhodes helps DiBiase to his feet, and then knocks him out with "CrossRhodes." Cody seems disappointed that Ted did not make his miracle victory prediction come true. Rhodes leaves the ring to get a paper bag, and then puts it on DiBiase's unconscious head.
Match #4: Kelly Kelly versus Tamina.
Tamina pushes Kelly to the corner, and Kelly responds with a series of forearms. Kelly hits Tamina with a Thesz press and then mounts and pounds her. Kelly hits Tamina with a tilt a whirl headscissors and then traps her in the ropes with a hanging headscissors. Tamina snaps Kelly's neck on the top rope and then body slams her.
Kelly takes Tamina to the mat and then repeatedly slams her face to the canvas. Kelly hits Tamina with a 1 handed bulldog and then a handspring back elbow. Kelly makes a big show of grinding her ass in Tamina's face, causing millions of horny teen aged boys to touch themselves.
Kelly goes to the top rope and hits Tamina with a flying cross body, but Tamina catches her. Kelly gets free and hits Tamina with a leg drop for the win.
After the match, Matt Striker asks Jinder Mahal why his plans to have Khali protect him during the recent #1 contender's battle royal failed. Jinder replied that it is because Khali didn't follow orders, but he has been re-educated. Jinder says Khali's next orders are to dominate Ezekiel Jackson tonight.
Commercial
Match #5: Khali versus Ezekiel Jackson.
The two men lock up and Khali pushes Jackson down. Jackson lands a punch and Khali knocks him down again. Khali hits Jackson with a big chop to the chest in the corner and then applies a nerve pinch to his shoulder. Jackson fights out with a series of elbows, and then charges into Khali in the corner. Khali drops Jackson with a boot to the face and then puts him in the dreaded Khali vice grip.
Jackson looks like he's fading, but eventually powers his way out. Khali gets the vice grip back on and Jackson gets to the ropes. Jinder jumps up to the ring apron to hit Jackson with a cheap shot; at the same time, Khali tries to hit Jackson with a big chop but misses and takes out Jinder instead. Jackson puts Khali up on his shoulders and gets him in the torture rack.
Jackson had the much larger Khali up on his shoulders, even bouncing him up and down a little to increase the pressure. It was an impressive feat of strength; not quite as impressive as John Cena getting the Big Show up for an Attitude Adjustment and walking around the ring with him on his shoulders, but still pretty impressive.
Commercial
Match #6: Mark Henry versus Sheamus.
The two men lock up and Henry pushes Sheamus to the floor. They lock up again and Henry knocks him down again. They lock up a third time and this time Sheamus gets behind Henry and starts pounding on his back. Henry gives Sheamus an Irish whip (seems appropriate somehow) and then Sheamus hits Henry with a big boot to the face.
Sheamus beats Henry down and stomps on him in the corner. Sheamus hits Henry with a kick to the head and Henry responds with a big boot to the face. Henry slams Sheamus in the corner and then hits him with a backbreaker. Henry whips Sheamus hard into the corner and then steps on him. Sheamus gets to his knees and lands several punches.
Henry knocks Sheamus back down and then steps on his hand. Henry gets Sheamus up in a bear hug, but Sheamus fights out of it by landing a pair of headbutts. Sheamus climbs to the top rope and Henry grabs him and hoists him up high for a military press. Sheamus wiggles free and hits Henry with a DDT.
Sheamus whips Henry to the ropes and hits him with a double fisted shot to the head, then hits him with three more double fisted blows. The fourth shot knocks Henry down. Sheamus gets Henry trapped in the ropes and pounds on his chest repeatedly. Sheamus goes to the edge of the ring apron and hits Henry with a knee lift to the face and a headbutt.
Sheamus climbs to the top and hits Henry with a flying shoulder block. Henry rolls out to the floor and then pulls Sheamus out after him, dropping him hard to the ground. Henry slams Sheamus into the security barrier and then tries to slam him through the announce table but Sheamus breaks free. Sheamus hits Henry with a Brogue kick that sends him over the table and onto the floor. Sheamus throws a chair onto Henry and then re enters the ring. The ref counts to ten and Sheamus beats Mark Henry by countout.
After the match, Henry tips the announce table over in anger, and then goes back after Sheamus in the ring. They exchange a couple punches and Sheamus prevents Henry from getting back into the ring. Sheamus climbs to the top and leaps out at Henry, but Henry catches him and slams him into the edge of the ring apron.
Sheamus gets to his feet and pushes Henry into the steel steps and steel ring post. Sheamus picks up the steel steps and tries to hit Henry with them but misses. Mark Henry clotheslines Sheamus and then hits him with the World's Strongest Slam onto the steel steps. Henry stands over the unconscious Sheamus as SmackDown comes to a close.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.