Smackdown TV Report 4/2/11

Reported by Earnest I Aguilar

The Smack was laid Down for us tonight in Chicago. Sort of. If what you wanted from tonight's show was a two hour commercial for WrestleMania and Fan Axxess, this was your dream show. I however was terribly bored with watching replays of things I liked just fine the first time (mostly) but really didn't need to see in their entirety again. It started off well though.

Match #1: Wade Barrett (Intercontinental champion) versus Kofi Kingston for the IC title.

The match starts off with Kofi landing a series of quick strikes against Barrett. Wade backdrops Kofi out of the ring and Kofi lands on the ring apron. Kofi tries to springboard back into the ring and Wade hits him with a boot to the face in mid air. Barrett slams Kofi into the ring, the steel steps, and the security barrier before rolling him back into the ring. Wade makes the "Corre's" signature gesture: a single raised fist. I thought that was "Black Power"?

Wade is in control of Kofi in the ring. Kofi makes his way to his feet before Barrett hits him with a knee to the midsection. Kofi fights back and lands a pair of double chops to the chest and then takes Barrett down with a dropkick. Kofi goes for a ranhei (SOS in WWE parlance) and it's blocked by Wade. Wade goes for a boot to the face and Kofi ducks it. Kofi goes to the top rope and nails Barrett with a high crossbody.

Kofi hits the Boom Drop and then sets up for the "Trouble in Paradise." Wade blocks the kick with a boot to the face of Kofi. Wade goes for a cover but gets only two, then sets Kofi up on his shoulders for the Wasteland. Kofi grabs the top rope to keep himself from getting slammed, and eventually Kofi ends up on the top turnbuckle. Kofi leaps off the top rope and Wade ducks. Kofi then hits Wade with the Trouble in Paradise and covers him!

Before the ref can get to three, The Corre breaks up the count and beats Kofi Kingston down. Kofi has won by DQ but Wade retains the UC title. Santino Morella and Kozlov come down to the ring to help Kofi, but they are also beaten down by The Corre.

Eventually Kane and the Big Show come to the ring and The Corre gets beat down and tossed out of the ring. Big Show, Kane, Santino and Kozlov will be facing The Corre at WrestleMania.

In the back, Matt Striker is interviewing Cody Rhodes. Cody is keeping to the shadows and hiding his hideously deformed face, which is actually perfectly fine but for the protective face guard he has to wear temporarily. Matt asks Cody why he savagely attacked Rey Mysterio recently; intentionally hitting him with an exposed steel knee brace.

Cody replies that it was "an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth" and that he has so much more planned. ody says he's a bitter man because of his hideous disfigurement. He also tells us that Rey will have to contend with Cody's plastic face guard (which he uses as a weapon) and his own steel knee brace.

Commercial

When we return, the Bella Twins are at Fan Axxess and we are shown Hornswoggle's home under the ring. We see a video hyping the Undertaker/HHH match at Wrestlemania to the song: "In time" by Mark Collie. Cool song. The Bella twins tell us CM Punk gets creepier every week.

Commercial

When we return we are treated to more of the Bella Twins at Fan Axxess. I don't remember or care what they were babbling about this time, and doubt anyone else will either. A video tribute in honor of Hall of Fame inductees the Road Warriors is shown. Interesting they called them the Road Warriors instead of Legion of Doom, which was the only thing they ever called them while they were in the WWF.

Commercial

We're shown a recap of Lawler beating Jack Swagger and threatening Michael Cole from last week. The segment ends with Cole throwing cup of coffee into Jerry Lawler's face.

Jerry Lawler comes to the ring to address Michael Cole, and Cole is nowhere to be found. Lawler says it was probably smart of Cole to stay away. If he was there, Lawler guarantees he would get banned from WrestleMania for touching Michael Cole against the GM's orders, but would make sure that Cole doesn't make it either.

Lawler recounts everything Cole has done or said to him lately (including bringing up his recently deceased mother) and promises to finally make him shut up at WrestleMania.

Commercial

When we return, we get more Bella Twins at fan Axxess, followed by a replay of the entire Undertaker/HHH/Sean Michaels confrontation from Raw.

Commercial

When we return, we are shown the same Sin Cara video package we see every week. I am looking forward to hit debut, I'm just dying for some original content tonight. The Bella twins are at Fan Axxess looking at fashion items from Trish Stratus' wardrobe.

The Bellas say Trish is one of the greatest Divas ever; that ISN'T named Bella. After a little pause, Todd Grisham says: "That's funny" and I didn't hear the rest because I found myself yelling "really, REALLY?" at the TV.

We're shown some nonsense about Snooki and her big wrestling debut and all the attention it's getting. At one point I swear someone referred to her as a "wrestler". This amazed me because they stopped calling wrestlers "wrestlers" years ago in the WWE and switched to "Superstars" or "Sports entertainers".

More recently, they've even dropped the 'sports' out of the description and started simply calling them 'entertainers'. But somehow this Jersey Shore person gets to be called a wrestler because she has apparently been in a few bar fights? I refuse to ever watch the Jersey Shore because of the harm it's done to wrestling. I don't even care if it's a good show; I just want it to go away.

Commercial

When we return, we see the Bella twins at Fan Axxess swooning over Alberto Del Rio. Todd reminds them that they should not count out Edge. He also says he has a nice car. We are then shown some video highlights of Alberto and Edge to hype their WrestleMania match.

Commercial

When we return, we see a recap of Cody Rhodes destroying Rey Mysterio last week with his face mask and steel knee brace.

Match #2: Cody Rhodes versus Chris Masters.

Cody charges Masters and knocks him backwards with strikes. Masters responds with a chop and a suplex attempt that Cody floats out of. Cody hits Chris with a boot to the face/throat and follows up with a knee to the gut. Cody punches Masters then puts him in a hammerlock and pulls back on his head at the same time.

Chris gets out by pushing Cody back into the corner. Cody tries to get back on the offensive, but Masters hits him with Samoan drop and tries for the Master Lock. Cody is able to keep Masters from getting the hold locked in and then hits him in the face with his protective face guard. Cody then hits Masters with the Cross Rhodes for the win.

After the match, Rey Mysterio runs into the ring and attacks Cody. After tripping him into the ropes, Rey tries to hit Cody with the 619 but Cody has plenty of time to get out of the way.

Cody stomps on Rey and goes for a powerbomb, but Rey is able to turn it into a hurricanrana that sends Cody back into the ropes. Rey exposes the knee brace before going for the 619, but Cody runs away. Rey points to the WrestleMania sign.

The next segment features Chris Jericho on "Dancing with the Stars." It sounds like he's doing reasonably well, and is currently in fourth place.

Commercial

When we return we are shown the Bella Twins at Fan Axxess. This time they are looking at John Cena's collection of muscle cars. Truly, this is gripping television. Next up is nearly the entire confrontation between The Rock, John Cena, and the Miz, which was great fun to watch.

All three of them are great on the mic. Talking is what the Miz does best, but even he couldn't help but be outclassed by The Rock and John Cena. I'm not going to recap it though; Moe Tapp already did a fine job of that when it happened.

I'm still ridiculously excited for WrestleMania, even though I found this show painfully boring.