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Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Smackdown Report TV 9/10/11

Reported by Ernest I Aguilar Zevallos
The Smack is being laid Down for us tonight in Toledo Ohio. The show begins Mark Henry telling us about the people he has inducted into the "Hall of Pain", and also adding that Randy Orton is next.

Henry is interrupted by Zach Ryder, who claims to love Mark Henry's Hall of Pain and thinks they could be "broskis". Henry thinks Zach must have a death wish for interrupting him, but Zach explains that he is just there to tell him that Teddy Long has issued a "no contact" rule tonight for Randy Orton and Mark Henry in their respective matches tonight.

Zach starts to leave but is stopped by Henry. Henry thanks Ryder for the message, and then tells him that since he can't put his hands on Randy Orton tonight, he is going to have to put his hands on somebody. Zach gets the message and tries to punch out Henry first, but Henry crushes him with the World's Strongest Slam.

Commercial

Match #1: Mark Henry versus Ezekiel Jackson.

Henry pushes Jackson back and Jackson puts his hand up for a test of strength. Henry gets the early advantage and forces Jackson to his knees. Jackson powers his way back to his feet, but gets kicked to the mat by Henry. Jackson tries another test of strength and Henry overpowers him.

Jackson lands a series of punches and tries to pick Henry up for the torture rack but is unable to get him up on his shoulders. They exchange punches and Henry goes to the floor to regroup. Jackson pursues and Henry slams Jackson into the steel post. Henry rolls Jackson back into the ring and clotheslines him to the mat. Henry hits Jackson with a pair of splashes and then finishes him off with the World's Strongest Slam.

In the back Teddy Long is talking on the phone and is interrupted by Aksana. Aksana asks if she can be special ring announcer again. Teddy replies that if he let her do it every week, it wouldn't be special. Aksana says announcing isn't the only thing she can do with her mouth...she can also sing! She asks Teddy if he wants them to make beautiful music together.

Teddy says he has to check on Zach Ryder and scurries away nervously. Is Teddy playing hard to get, or has he decided after all these years that he's actually gay and in love with Zach Ryder? Zach wouldn't be a bad catch, his YouTube videos are very popular.

Commercial

Match #2: Sin Cara versus Tyson Kidd.

The match starts off very fast with the two men locking up before exchanging arm drags and both men trying, and missing, some high flying moves. Tyson hip tosses Sin Cara into the corner and Sin Cara lands hard on his head. Tyson kicks Sin Cara to the mat and then traps his arms behind his back.

Sin Cara lands a couple kicks and punches before whipping him to the rope and knocking him down with a shoulder block. Sin Cara follows up with a flying forearm from the top rope and gets a near fall. Sin Cara lands a pair of kicks and a springboard crossbody.

Tyson rolls through the crossbody and gets a two count on Sin Cara. Tyson goes for a kick, and Sin Cara responds with a backdrop. Sin Cara hits a springboard senton that leads into a springboard moonsault for the win.

After the match, Josh Matthews tries to interview Sin Cara in the ring. Sin Cara replies in English! (He's never spoken before and it was assumed he didn't speak English) Sin Cara says that when he first came here, he was easy on everyone, but now, this new aggressive Sin Cara is the REAL Sin Cara.

Sin Cara is interrupted by Daniel Bryan. Sin Cara gave Bryan a cheap shot after their recent match and Bryan is here to confront him. Bryan says he didn't expect Sin Cara to speak in English, and he also didn't expect to get kicked in the head after their last match. Bryan challenges Sin Cara to a rematch next week and invites him to be as aggressive as he wants. Sin Cara responds by kicking him in the head again and then putting Bryan in his own hold, the Lebell Lock.

Commercial

When we return, we are shown a video package of Cody Rhodes proclaiming that our ugliness offends him. Cody (the Intercontinental Champion) will be facing Randy Orton tonight in a champion versus champion match for the main event. After the video, Matt Striker interviews Randy Orton.

Orton first talks about Rhodes, his opponent tonight, claiming that Rhodes has become unstable and unstable can be dangerous. Randy knows this from experience, being violently unstable himself. Randy also talks about Mark Henry's recent attack, claiming that is what smart and calculated, two word not commonly associated with Mark Henry. Now that they world's strongest man is acting in a calculated manner, people are wondering what can stop him? Randy says an RKO can stop Mark Henry.

Commercial

Match #3: Divas champion Kelly Kelly versus Natalya.

Kelly starts off with a pair of forearm shots and a one armed bulldog. Kelly then gets on Natalya's shoulders as though she's going to go for a hurricanrana, but then wraps her up in the ropes instead with a hanging figure four neck lock. Natalya frees herself and knocks Kelly to the floor.

Natalya goes out after Kelly, kicks her, and then rolls her back into the ring. Natalya lands a couple more strikes, taunts her opponent, and then puts her in an abdominal stretch. Kelly escapes by using elbow strikes but Natalya knocks her down again. Natalya pushes Kelly to the ropes and Kelly slaps her. Natalya gets Kelly up on her shoulders and gives her a modified airplane spin.

Natalya drops her and Kelly rolls out to the edge of the ring apron. Kelly goes for a sunset flip and Natalya turns it into a sharpshooter attempt. Kelly blocks the sharpshooter and rolls Natalya up for the three count. Natalya looks angry.

Commercial

When we return, Christian comes to the ring to complain. Christian tells us that he was forced to compete in a match against John Cena the night before he had to face Randy Orton in a steel cage. Christian says that he was double teamed, taking a Brogue kick from Sheamus and an Attitude Adjustment from John Cena, and that put him at a disadvantage in his match against Orton the following night.

Christian claims that despite this disadvantage, he took Orton to the limit and was ahead on points. Christian says that he deserves ONE MORE MATCH, and he will put the entire rest of the show on hold until he gets it.

Sheamus interrupts Christian and tells him he is out of matches, out of excuses, and pretty soon, he'd better get out of this ring. Sheamus starts Christian down and Christian leaves. Wade Barrett, Sheamus' opponent for tonight, passes Christian as Christian walks back to the locker room and the two men exchange a look.

Match #4: Sheamus versus Wade Barrett.

The two men lock up and jockey for position along the ropes. Sheamus takes Barrett down and applies a headlock. Wade gets to his feet and whips Sheamus to the ropes: Sheamus comes off the ropes and flattens Barrett. Wade gets to his feet and lands a punch and a kick; Sheamus retaliates with a headbutt and a punch.

After an Irish Whip, Barrett lands a kick to the face and Sheamus responds with an elbow that sends Barrett to the floor. Wade lands a kick that knocks Sheamus down and then steps on his hand. Sheamus lands a series of punches, kicks, and knee drops to Barrett.

Wade gets back to his feet and they exchange punches, and then Wade whips Sheamus hard into the corner. Wade lands a big forearm and then pounds on his chest. Wade pins Sheamus' arms behind his back and pulls back on his chin.

Commercial

When we return, Wade Barrett hits Sheamus with a side slam and then wraps him up in the ropes. Wade pounds on Sheamus and then knocks him to the floor with a big boot to the face. Barrett goes after Sheamus and slams him into the ring apron and then rolls him back in. Sheamus lands a headbutt and a punch; Barrett responds with a big right hand that knocks Sheamus down on his back.

Sheamus snaps Barrett's neck down on the top rope and follows up with a pair of clotheslines. Wade lands a boot to the face, but Sheamus responds with a bodyslam. Sheamus wraps Wade up in the ropes and pounds on his chest ten times. (I didn't count, the crowd did. They love Sheamus now)

Sheamus hits Barrett with a running knee and a shoulder block from the top rope. Christian runs into the ring and attacks Sheamus from behind. Sheamus still gets the better of the exchange and knocks Christian down. Barrett comes up behind Sheamus and attacks him; Barrett and Christian double team Sheamus, but Sheamus knocks Barrett down with a double axe handle and Christian runs away.

Sheamus knocks Barrett out with a Brogue Kick and Christian cheap shots him again. Sheamus AGAIN gets the better of the exchange and sets Christian up for the Celtic Cross, but Christian slides out and runs away.

Commercial

Match #5: Tag team champs "Air Boom" (Evan Bourne and Kofi Kingston) versus Jinder Mahal and the Great Khali.

I don't like typing "the Great Khali" because he isn't great, he's not even competent. I think I would rather refer to him as the Lame Khali, or the Untalented Khali, or even the Painfully Boring Khali. That might diminish his drawing power somewhat, but it would be so much more accurate.

Jinder and Evan start the match off, and Jinder lands a punch and a kick to the gut. Evan retaliates with a hurricanrana and a pair of kicks. Evan goes to the top rope, but Jinder pulls him off and clotheslines him as he falls. Jinder goes for a cover, but Kofi runs in and makes the save.

Khali lands a couple sloppy looking strikes that flatten Evan and then pushes him over the ropes by palming his head. Khali hits Bourne with a big chop and tags in Jinder. Jinder tries a vertical suplex but Evan blocks it. Evan lands a kick and tags in Kofi. Kofi hits Jinder with a flying crossbody, a pair of chops, a drop kick, and a clothesline.

Kofi sets up for the Boom Drop and hits it. Kofi then sets up for the Trouble in Paradise but misses. Kofi lands another crossbody and Jinder retaliates with a kick to the gut. Jinder turns his attention to Khali and starts yelling at him. Jinder slaps Khali across the face and Khali gets fed up and pushes Jinder down.

Jinder is in shock and then gets hit by Kofi with the Trouble in Paradise. Kofi and Evan retain their titles as Khali turns his back on an angry Jinder Mahal.

Commercial

Match #6: Intercontinental Champion Cody Rhodes versus World Champion Randy Orton.

Cody comes out first with his baggers. As they do every week, the baggers give Booker T a paper bag mask that he angrily refuses to put on. Cody tells us that even with a disfigured face, he is still an inspiration. He said he tried to be an inspiration to Ted DiBiase, but Ted was apparently just being Ted.

Cody doesn't understand that, he wouldn't be happy being Ted, so he dumped Ted. After Cody dumped that "anchor" (as he called DiBiase) he claims the Intercontinental title floated up. Cody tells us he heard Orton claiming Rhodes was unstable and promises to show Randy how unstable he can be.

Commercial

When we return, Randy Orton makes his way to the ring. The match begins with the two men locking up and Cody trying for a quick rollup pin. The two men lock up again and Cody puts Orton in a headlock before going for another roll up. Orton kicks out and they lock up again. Orton hits Cody with a standing drop kick and goes for a cover. Cody kicks out and hits Orton with a standing dropkick.

Orton gets to his feet, knocks Cody down, and then proceeds to stomp on his chest and stomach. Orton picks Rhodes up and whips him hard into one corner and then hard into the opposite corner. Orton clotheslines Rhodes to the mat and Rhodes lands a kick from his back. Cody gets to his feet and Orton takes him down with a Thesz Press. Cody headbutts Orton with his plastic face guard to regain the advantage.

Cody stomps Orton's head and stomach repeatedly. Cody lands a couple more strikes and then stomps on Orton's chest in the corner. Orton gets to his feet, headbutts Cody, and then hits him with a European uppercut. Orton tries a knee drop but misses and may have hurt his knee.

Cody stomps on Orton's leg repeatedly and then hits him with a knee to the gut. Randy forces Cody outside the ring ropes and attempts a rope hung DDT, but Cody blocks it. Cody hits Orton with the Beautiful Disaster kick, knocking Orton to the floor.

Commercial

When we return, Cody slams Orton's face to the corner, boots him to the mat and then steps on his face. Cody uses his legs to wrap up Orton's left arm in an Omoplata, then switches to a Kimura (on the same arm), and then hits him with a knee to the gut. Cody stomps on Orton and then lands several punches.

Randy fights back with some punches and kicks of his own, but Cody kicks Orton to the mat and goes back to work on Orton's left arm. Randy gets to his feet and lands a couple punches, but Orton lands a knee to the gut and then delivers a knee drop to the now injured arm. Randy gets to his feet, lands a punch, and then gives Rhodes and Irish Whip. Rhodes charges Orton but Orton sidesteps and Cody crashes hard into the corner.

Cody gets to his feet, lands a kick, and then hits Orton with an Alabama Slamma. Cody whips Orton to the ropes and tries for a bulldog, but Orton throws him off. Randy hits Rhodes with a pair of clotheslines and then a scoop power slam. Randy charges Cody, but Cody hits him with a boot to the head and then drops him to the mat face first. Cody misses a knee strike and Orton hits him with a knee of his own.

Randy hits Rhodes with a rope hung DDT and sets up for the RKO. Cody rolls to the floor, Orton pursues. Cody re-enters the ring and tries to hit Orton with CrossRhodes when Orton re-enters the ring but Orton blocks it. Cody tries for Beautiful Disaster but misses. Orton goes for the RKO again and this time hits it for the win!

After the match, Mark Henry comes to the ring to confront Orton. Orton is still clutching his left arm, but tries to fight Henry off with his good arm. Orton goes for an RKO but Henry pushes him off and then knocks him over. Henry hits Orton with the World's Strongest Slam twice, and then goes outside the ring to get a steel chair.

Henry puts the chair over Orton and sits on it so he can stare directly down into Orton's face. As the show comes to a close, the last thing we hear is Mark Henry yelling "I could have broken your leg if I wanted, but I want to get your title. That's the ONLY reason I'm not breaking your leg right now."

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