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| Reported by Ernest I Aguilar |
Teddy Long is still in serious condition, so Vickie is going to be in charge indefinitely. She announces that there will be a series of qualifying matches to determine who will compete in the Elimination Chamber match. She also announce that tonight there will be a handicap match pitting both members of Team LayCool and Dolph Ziggler against Kelly Kelly and Edge, and if either member of LayCool pins Kelly, Dolph becomes champion.
Vickie then calls out Kelly Kelly to yell at her for attacking Vickie at the Royal Rumble and costing Dolph his title match against Edge. Vickie says she could fire her, but that's too easy. Since she was the reason Dolph isn't already champ, Vickie wants to make sure Kelly is the reason Dolph becomes chance tonight. Kelly says it's Vickie's own fault for sticking her nose in her personal things, and that maybe she should just quit. D
olph angrily confronts Kelly and blaim her for his title loss. Kelly slaps Dolph in the face and attack Vickie. Team LayCool comes out to save Vickie and they threaten Kelly. Edge comes to the ring to save Kelly, chases out Michelle and Layla and knocks Dolph out of the ring.
Commercial
Match #1: Santino and Kozlov versus Heath Slater and Justin Gabriel.
Kozlov and Gabriel start things off, Gabriel gets a quick go behind, but Kozlov throws him off and puts him in a headlock. Gabriel tags Slater and Slater lands a kick to Kozlov. Kozlov hits Slater with a shoulder block and tags Santino. Santino lands a hip toss but then Slater takes over and dominates with punches.
Santino tags Kozlov and Kozlov downs Slater with a kick and a head butt. Heath lands a shot to Kozlov's knee and tags Gabriel. Gabriel hits the 450 splash and Corre members Gabriel and Slater score a clean pin fall victory against the tag team champions in a non title match.
Commercial
Match #2: Elimination Chamber qualifier. Kofi Kingston versus Drew McIntyre.
Josh Matthews announces that Dolph Ziggler automatically qualifies for the Elimination Chamber match and asks new commentator Booker T his thoughts. Booker says no comment, and Cole remarks on the irony of a commentator having no comment.
The match begins with Kofi being pushed to the corner by Drew. Kofi gets the early advantage but Drew starts to land several punches. Drew is stomping hard on Kofi's head, and then picks him up for a body slam and an unsuccessful pin attempt. Drew whips Kofi to the ropes and Kofi leapfrogs him going one way and then again the other way, and then knocks Drew down with a flying elbow.
Kofi puts an armbar on Drew, but Drew fights out with a series of strikes. Drew whips Kofi into the corner and charges in after him, Kofi responds with a pendulum kick. Kofi clotheslines Drew out of the ring and slams his face into the announce table. Drew retaliates by dropping Kofi onto the steel steps.
Commercial
Drew is working on the arm and head of Kofi. Kofi goes for a head scissors but Drew counters with a gut buster. Kofi again punches his way to his feet and Drew hits him with a boot to the gut. At some point, Michael Cole asks Josh Matthews if he is going to talk to him, and Josh says he honestly forgot he was there. Drew lands a pair of clotheslines and goes for a cover, getting two.
Drew goes for another and Kofi counters with a DDT. They both exchange punches, with Kofi landing more, including a Superman punch. Kofi hits the Boom Drop and sets up for the Trouble In Paradise. Drew blocks it but tries to roll out of the ring. Kofi tries to stop him but is distracted by the image of Alberto Del Rio winking on the Titan Tron. Drew capitalizes on Kofi's failure to pay attention, hits him with the Future Shock DDT, and covers him for the win.
Commercial
Match #3 Elimination Chamber qualifier, Rey Mysterio versus Jack Swagger.
Rey starts things off with a baseball slide and a kick to Swagger. Jack whips Rey to the ropes and Rey responds with another kick. Swagger lunges at Rey but Rey ducks and pulls down the top rope, causing Swagger to fly over and out of the ring.
Commercial
When we return Jack pushes Rey into the corner but Rey slips out and hits Swagger with multiple shoulder blocks. Jack whips Rey hard into the opposite corner and Rey retaliates with a wheelbarrow bulldog and gets a two count. Rey hits Swagger with a crossbody and gets another two count. Rey lands a couple more kicks and sends Swagger out of the ring.
Rey goes to the ring apron and attempts a moonsault, but Swagger blocks it and pulls Rey into the ropes, yanking on his head and leg. Jack pulls Rey back into the ring and punishes his leg, pinning it in the ropes, stomping on it, and slamming it against the steel ring post. Jack takes Rey to the floor again and slams his face to the announce table, then rolls him back in and works on his leg some more.
Jack goes for his corner slingshot splash, hits it, and gets a two count. Swagger tosses Rey around the ring a couple times and continues to work on the injured leg. Swagger goes for another corner splash, but this time Rey dodges it and hits Swagger with a spinning DDT.
Rey goes for a 619 but Jack catches it and applies the ankle lock. Rey responds with a kick from the ground that catches Swagger hard in the chest/shoulder area. Swagger falls back and Rey rolls him up for the win, Rey will be competing in the Elimination Chamber match.
We're shown a brief recap of Alberto Del Rio challenging Edge for the Championship at WrestleMania. Edge is in the back with Kelly Kelly and he's worried he's going to lose his title because Team Laycool will have a 2 on 1 advantage against Kelly. Kelly is insulted and Edge tries to explain he's not trying to be insulting, he's just concerned because she's outnumbered 2 to 1. She is still mad and says he's just like Drew McIntyre.
At the announce table, Josh Matthews is predicting that Jerry Lawler will win the WWE championship at Elimination Chamber. Really? REALLY? I know some people think Miz is an undeserving champion, but he can talk, and he's developed into an adequate wrestler. Lawler is LONG past his prime, and he really wasn't much of a wrestler when he was in his prime.
Hornswoggle and Rosa Mendez make their way to the ring, and Alberto Del Rio comes out to join them. Alberto says he is there to celebrate the fulfilling of his destiny. He told us it was his destiny to win the Royal Rumble and main event WrestleMania, and he has done so.
He also wants to celebrate with Hornswoggle apparently, and invites an anxious Hornswoggle to play with his Pinata. That sounded dirtier than I meant it to, but I'm going to leave it. Alberto then gives Hornswoggle a big stick and tells him to hit the Pinata.
It's too high so he can't reach it, so Alberto orders it to be lowered to.."this...things level" Hornswoggle swings again and hits Alberto right in the nuts. Alberto is angry and boots Hornswoggle in the face. Alberto looks ready to continue the beating when Kofi Kingston runs to the ring and saves Hornswoggle.
Alberto backs away, but when Kofi turns his back, Alberto sneaks back in and hits him with the stick repeatedly from behind. Alberto puts Kofi in the cross armbreaker until referees come to break it up.
Commercial
The new Tough Enough reality show being hosted by Steve Austin is being reported. Cole calls Tough Enough the Original reality show, which is a stupid thing to say because it's so obviously not true. And it's not even a compliment, reality shows suck. If you're going to promote your show with nonsense, the nonsense should at least be a compliment. Booker T mentions that he will be one of the coaches on Tough Enough. I may watch it, Austin and Booker are both entertaining.
Match #4: Chavo versus Kane.
Squash match. Chavo lands a couple strikes early and it looks like maybe it won't be a squash. Then Chavo hits the frog splash and Kane no-sells it, grabs Chavo by the throat and choke slams him for the win. Kane is going on to the Elimination Chamber match. Chavo is probably going to go back to dressing up like a bird.
Just before the next commercial break, we see a commercial for HHH's new movie the Chaperone.
Commercial
When we come back from commercial, we see a commercial for the next Pay Per View.
Match #5: The Big Show versus Wade Barrett.
The match starts with Big Show landing a huge chop and a punch to the gut. Barrett responds with several strikes of his own. Big Show gets back in control quickly with a big elbow and a huge chop. Show whips Wade into the corner where the ref is standing and the ref gets flattened.
The Corre comes in to attack Show, who gets clotheslined by Ezekiel Jackson. Wade goes for a pin and gets two, then DDT's Show, goes for another cover, and gets the win. After the match, Show chases Wade out of the ring but is body slammed again by Ezekiel Jackson. Ezekiel grabs a mic and misquotes some non-existent biblical verse. Samuel L Jackson's character from Pulp Fiction used a made up quote from the bible also, and claimed it was from Ezekiel. Coincidence?
Commercial
Match #6: Edge and Kelly Kelly versus Dolph Ziggler and Team LayCool.
Before the match starts, Vickie says that if Edge uses the spear, he will be stripped of his title and it will be awarded to Dolph. The match starts off with Dolph and Edge. Dolph gets the early advantage but Edge turns it around with a flying forearm and a flapjack. Dolph rolls out to the floor and Edge hits him with a baseball slide dropkick and rolls him back in.
Dolph tags in LayCool and both Layla and Michelle McCool try to enter at the same time. Eventually Layla goes back to the corner and Michelle faces Edge, who tags in Kelly. Josh Matthews gleefully announces that Kelly Kelly is now defending the World Heavyweight Championship.
Commercial
When we return, Kelly Kelly is kicking Michelle and the action spills out of the ring briefly, and Kelly gets double teamed by LayCool. Eventually Michelle swings Kelly's body hard into the security barrier. Layla and Michelle make a series of quick tags, double teaming Kelly and hitting her with a variety of strikes.
Kelly manages to fight her way out of a suplex and land a hard slap, but the advantage is short lived as LayCool is wearing her down. Layla gets Kelly in a body scissors but Kelly is able to kick her way out of it. Kelly is finally able to tag Edge, but the ref doesn't see it and Kelly's beating continues. They double team her some more, but this time it backfires.
Michelle accidentally hits Layla with a kick to the head meant for Kelly. Kelly knocks Michelle out of the ring and spears Layla for the win! Kelly Kelly has just successfully defended Edge's World Heavyweight Title.
After the match, Vickie Guerrero is furious. She congratulates Kelly on her win, then tells her it will be her last match, because she's fired! Vickie is screaming, laughing and cackling like an evil Mexican witch on crack as Kelly Kelly cries.
Vickie turns her attention to Edge, and tells him that next week, he will have to face Dolph again, and this time, there will be a special guest referee: Vickie Guerrero. Edge looks screwed now, and it's about to get worse. Dolph sneaks up behind Edge and takes him out with a Zig Zag to end the show
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